Sanctuary

Who am I?

It's hard to answer that question. I've always been chained in one way or another. Chained by my birth family, chained by society and money... and chained by my physical limits. Still, one word always comes to mind, failure. I have so far failed to transcend the realities and illusions that trap me, to realize even a few of my desires.

To really discover who I am and who I want to be, I need to have a place of my own. When I'm at university, when I'm at home, when I'm somewhere else, I am a different person. I become the person I feel I have to be. Too often, especially for the first two, this person is someone I hate.

I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had always been accepted by my birth family. What if I didn't have to constantly suppress myself? How much better would my life be? The truth is, I would love to have someone take me away and give me what I've always wanted. I've been waiting for this for my whole life.

I'm tired of waiting, and I was wrong to wait. I have to actively seek out what I want, and if I can't find it, I have to be and create what I want. In building a place for myself, a sanctuary, I can also provide to kindred spirits what I've always wanted, but never had.

To break the descending spiral of despair, and find the ascending spiral of hope.