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RE: Sometimes I'm jealous of others' belief in a god.
as long as you believed and admitted that your made some mistakes, then ask God for forgiveness, he will listen to a sincere hearts of prayers. just keep believing, although, we are just humans committed a lot of sins, still God were able to save us and all we can payback to God, is to continue doing good into others and share what we can share.
"He who has the Son has eternal life.
He who rejects the Son will not see life
for God's wrath remains upon him." John 3:36