How did I deal with significant changes in my life? I just asked myself these three little questions.

in life •  2 years ago
Growth is painful. Change is painful. But, nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong.

Change happens.

Every day. Every second. 

Change causes the substantial impact in life. Life's inevitable karma is change. We deal with it, if not face it with bravery. 

When the right changes happen in life, we appreciate it. We even celebrate the significant ones. We embrace the moments. We frame them in photos, if not memories. We look forward to every single peremptory change in life. 

But, we crumble when things don't fit the way we reason. Things fall apart, and so do we.

Same moments we had fostered for healthy changes, start appearing awful for the unexpected changes. 

Why do we feel so? What causes that make us sense wretched with the changes? 


Expectation often hurts, if not all the time. We constitute our life around expectation. Starting from school, we tend to set the expectation straight. 


And, failing to achieve it? 

You know what follows.

Comes tiny little changes in life. And the series of events that follow with it. 

And, we experience this grievous event in every corner of life. 

Every day.

And, I'm sure those events are not pleasurable. 

Often painful. unpleasant. And depressing. 

But, do we stop having the expectation?

No, I surmise. 


Attachment, while often amusing and the origin of happiness, often also affects to feel discomfort and grief. 

But attachment happens. That's the beauty of life. 

Isn't it?

I’ve grown attachments in my life, and they’ve caused me sadness. 

I curled up in bed and stared at the empty ceiling. I have over analyzed and tried to discern the reason for this. I often asked, why me?

I perceived nothing is permanent in life. The pain is short-lived. The attachment is transitory.

What is permanent in life?  It's "I". 

Yes, "I". 

And "I" alone.

Every day is a chance to change your life

I had learned to practice non-attachment when it caused pain. I have blocked myself from people who caused me hurt.

But, with attachment comes changes. Big ones. And with every change, comes life's inevitable karma. 

Dealing with them often challenging. But, I often ask myself these questions. 

But, Improvement begins with I

1. Can I see as an opportunity in this change?

Opportunity often appears at a stressful time of your life. 

Do we invite them?

Of course not.

But, do we grab them?

Absolutely. Why not. Even if the opportunity pass by at the strange and challenging phase of your life.

Big changes in life bring such opportunities. We have to identify them. 

Learn a lesson from them

Adapt yourself to the changes.

Take a positive vibe from them

And move on with life as a better person. 

2. Can I change myself to fit this life changing?

Often the rigid thinking causes the expectation, which fires the life changing situation. 

But, can I let go some of my feelings?

Can I just allow them to take back-seat for now?

Can I bring the changes to my action?

Will it help to tackle the situation? 

3. Can I go with the flow, until I'm ready to accept?

Sometimes, I just do that. I don't think much of anything. Often not thinking of anything solves a lot of problems for me.

Let the problem be a big or small change in life.

Final thoughts. 

In life, as I stated above, 

"Change happens."

Everything changes.

And, when it does, try to ask yourself these questions. It may not answers all your questions, but it may help to deal with the situation.

With the changes.

And that’s okay.


What is permanent in life?  It's I. 
Yes, I. 
And I alone."

How did you deal your biggest life change? Do share your comments below.

Do up-vote and follow me @uday625

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I think " living in the present" is the best option. But it needs to be practised a lot.


"Living in the present," takes away all the worry from life.
It helps you to focus what's current and what's important. Past and future are not in scope.
I agree with you @susieisms


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