Kitchen short story

When you go to bed at 4:00 in the morning and you set the alarm for for 6:30 ….
September 11 ,2012 dinner service 20:25
Orders started to pile up, the chef was getting more nervous by the second and all I can hear were the waiters complaining about the kitchen staff ,that we are slow pokes.
Anyway ,that was my first time in the kitchen ,I was hired for about 1 week,it was hard for me to catch so much information in such a short period of time. The bosses expected me to learn everything in a few days, but…..that didn’t happen. Long story short , I was that slow that the moved me from the frypans to the vegetable room.
Finished my shift and on my way home all I could hear was the chef yelling orders and calling me beetroot and other vegetable names .
The other day passed quckly (FREE DAY ) and at about 21:00 I got a call from a friend, the discussion was:

-Come over for a beer,i`m with the guys
Me: Nahh,work tomorrow
-Just…..one…..beer…..PLEASE!
Me: Where are you?

I met with the guys ,they where already dead drunk,i had a beer,and another,and another,and another…..
13 beers later one of them puked on someone else is table and we had to leave .
That’s when the fun really began…
We drank our cab money ,we ran out of cigarettes we only had 2.5$ all together,we started walking home,outside started raining and it seemed a god idea to take a shortcut trough the park, well….
Very bad idea.
We slipped down a hill ,we were full of mud , we smelled like wet dogs or pigs and on top of that I need ed to take a dump.
What better place to do that than the Mcdonalds parking lot right next to the drive by order station.
Will there be everything else sir?
Yes,some wet wipes and a clean towel thank you.
Smile to the camera and have a good meal …..
Got home,I smelled like chicken brast…..left in the fridge for 3 months….
Took bath with cold water ( at 3:30 no hot water is available),the water was so cold that my testicles took a roadtrip to the abdomen and then went for the throat.
Alarm ringed, almost smashed my phone in the process, took a shower ( with hot water) just for my balls to get back into place 
Called a cab and a 7:05 I was first in the kitchen, equipped and ready for the rumble.
The chef came in at 7:20,came to my station.

Chef: Why the shitty face buttcrack?!
Me: Because of the weather chef
``In my mind were rolling images of me taking a dump in the parking lot, my friend taking a barf on the table (not his table),,
Chef: Yah sure about that softnuts?
Me: ……. Yeah.

END