How well do you know your kids?
It is not enough to be a 'dad' or a 'mum' just by name.
Unfortunately, most parents are too busy sourcing for funds to take care of their young ones and not creating sufficient time for them while others are flooding or have flooded everywhere with the number of kids they can never have enough time for.
In Africa, Nigeria to be precised, many people have refused to come out of the 'stone age' idea of flooding everywhere with kids. They tell you 'when God gives you, you cannot reject it'.
This attitude for me, is called 'irresponsible parenting'. How come your 'God' doesn't give you 15, 25 or 30 kids? After about 6 to 10 kids, you suddenly realise what you ought to have realized much earlier and stop giving birth. Then you cannot afford anything good for those kids who didn't beg you to bring them to earth. You scream at them whenever they make usual requests, you drown them up psychologically, morally, academically and in all sense of life because you cannot divide your attention between many kids at the same time. Some would say 'if there is money, you can have more' but i say No. Why do you run away from your home after flooding it with many kids and turning it into an inhabitable place or a mini asylum?
Our forefathers needed a very large family for farming and survival and don't forget that they lost many kids in the process of flooding everywhere and many women lost their lives too. In most cases, each wife catered for their own kids because farm lands would be divided among wives. If a particular wife's farm produces enough, she and her children have more to eat and sell to survive, than the others. In most cases, this brought envy from other wives and their children.
What is your reason for giving birth to many kids?
Someone once told me 'aunty, you need many children incase some die?' I asked her 'what will kill them?'
I'm yet to receive a response to that question.
I'm pleased with the number i have and i am armed with answers for anyone who has aweful questions as to the reason why i have not added more because he or she isn't bearing my responsiblities and certainly not yours too.
He who wears the shoes, knows where it hurts.
What should parents do for their kids?
- They must create sufficient time for their children.
I mean each child, not some but ALL
I prepare my kids for their examinations. That is one of the duties of responsible parents. Even if you are not literate, just gaze into their books. It gives them a feeling which only them can explain.
I see a bright future in them.
I see them learning this from me and obviously doing what i am doing for them, for their kids when they become parents.
Responsible parents must love their children and provide for their basic needs
such as clothes, shoes, shelter, medicare, education, food e.t.c
Stop calling them names when they make demands or lay complains. They ain't greedy, they ain't useless, they ain't stupid because if they are, then you are the parent of whatever name you call them. Remember a mango tree or a monkey produces it's type. Those children look exactly like you. If they are stupid, then you must have been a stupid child in your days. So stop calling them names that do not befit them just because you cannot provide their needs and you have failed in your duties.
Sit them down and tell them the situation of things, no matter how young they are because even a baby who is still been suckled, understands every bit of what you tell them.
Let them know when you can afford and when you cannot afford certain things. Don't lie to them, be sincere, be truthful, be open and trustworthy.Live an examplary life and do not set any self goals for them.
Do not tell them to avoid what they see you doing.
Meanwhile, you need to stop trying to make them what you failed to be. They must be doctors, lawyers, engineers, bla bla bla! What are you? Sit up and build yourself. Let them want to be like you. Leadership by example pays. After building yourself, lovingly study what they like most and guide them towards that direction.
My little Winnie drew a human being.
I kissed her, hugged her and snapped it. She was indeed on top of the world. When her brother returned from school, she told him 'mummy snapped what i drew, i drew a human being'. I can't lay my hands on some diagram's my Enyo drew when he was much younger but i bet you they are both great people. I woke up to meet these pictures he drew yesterday.
He drew his younger sister, crying while sleeping on the bed.
The bed is the curve drawn around the image.
Wowww, artistic kids!
Mummy just has to be a fat woman with a long hair
He drew himself wearing the shoes he saw with a school mate tyre shoes
My little boy wants mummy, to buy him tyre shoes, because he wants to slide hehehe
Daddy is a tall man with plenty beards lolz
The one that caught my attention the most was the sick image of himself. Immediately the just ended examinations began last week, my son took ill. I said to myself, my boy will not fall short of the average he had last term and immediately, he was placed on medication which he quickly responded to. I'm happy he was able to write all his pappers and i am certain that even if he doesn't come out 'first position' because he was ill, he will still be at the top of the class. Same goes to my little 'Winnie the poo'.
I see greatness in them.
What do you see in your children?
Unfortunately, most parents only know how to insult, beatup, depress and discourage their kids and i say
'Please, Stop It'.
Learn to appreciate your children.
When i back my daughter, they ask me 'Madam, you still dey carry this pikin? You get power ooo'. When she cries, they say 'It's because i refused to give her a younger one'. O, i simply smile at their gross ignorance of proper parenting. When i have another baby and that one is crying, they will say 'give him or her a younger one'. You keep giving younger ones until you flood everywhere and probably die of stress or loose some of the kids.
Hey young mothers, you better stop making a mess of your body and take good care of yourself. Don't say @trendyevents didn't tell you. Okay???
- Correct them when they are wrong.
I saidCorrect them, do not traumatize them. Do not transfer aggresion of any sort on them because they are not the cause of your problems. If you treat them well, they could even be a solution to it. - Be approachable.
Unfortunately, most parents are like 'ghosts, king of the jungle or scarecrows. They are not their children's friends. They are unapproachable. Their kids run away from them and do not confide in them. They think the kids are according them respect but i bet you, a time will come when you will want them to draw close to you and they will refuse vehemently because you missed it from the scratch.
Hhahahaahahaha. I have not stopped laughing and showing some of my colleagues at work the artistic skills of my kids. They are such a wonder kids. Children are lovely gifts from God and i appreciate God for giving us Enyo and Ojochenemi our children
Of course!
Great work madam, know amount of time is too much for our lovely kids. Our presence around them always hasten their growth. Weldon.
Very true sir. Thank u so much for your encouragement.
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Thanks for this @trendyevents most people in our society today are ignorant of parenting forgetting that it is not the number of children you bring to the world that make you a good parent rather it is how good you take care of them and the lagacy you left behind for them to follow.
Am yet to be a parent but I must tell you I really appreciate this piece I wish more parents can see this.
You've said it all my dear brother. How good you take care of them and the legacy you leave behind. That's it. You will make a good dad
I always see your post @trendyevents ஜ
That's good. You love them, right?
This is the pictorial representatioñ of the novel "The Joys of Motherhood" and fatherhood. But won't this "Proper Parenting" as you defined lead to "Helicopter Parenting"? Hovering around a child, we often call it "over pampering" of children. I think it is not everything a child wants, a child should get. Though i am yet to have kids, but with experience from siblings, they want it all, but parents should not give "all" as it where. We wont blame our fore fathers and mothers for having many children. In those times, polygynous family was the in thing. Monogamy we mostly practice today reduced the number of kids couples have. The idea is, having a son and a daughter, shikena. After the two genders, naturally and biologically, there is nothing like tranny or shemale. These are social constructs. All the same, you nailed this topic.
Perfect my dear. Perfectly said. Unfortunately some parents can't even provide their children's basic needs. They don't even appreciate their kids and can't remember when last they said 'thank you' or 'i love you' to them. They treat them like outcasts as if they were some unwanted trash. If they ask for everything, sit them down and explain to them why they can't get it all. They may cry but they will surely understand; if not now, soonest. Every parent must learn to be persistent in words. If u say ',No', let it be 'No' and if you say 'Yes', let it be 'Yes'. But some parents can LIE, chaaaiiii. You got the point my dear.
Hmmm
I am learning for future purpose.