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10 Things You Didn't Know About Facebook
While we're all having a swell time on Steemit, most of us, lets face it, still visit Facebook now and again; if for no other reason than because none of us have the time to stalk our exes in person these days. Here are some lesser known facts about the social media juggernaut that lie somewhere on the scale between almost interesting and almost true:
The average Facebook user checks Facebook 16 times a day. As a point of comparison, the average Steemit user checks Steemit 16 times an hour to see if the fucking site's back up and running yet.
You can't block Mark Zuckerberg on Facebook. I think I speak for everybody when I say I'm sick of seeing his videos of that talking animated penis pop up in my feed. Oh that's just his face? Nevermind then.
The 'Like' button was initially going to be called the 'Awesome' button. Other rejected names include 'Fuck Yeah', 'I'd Tap That' and 'I don't really give a shit about your dinner/cat/baby, but the rules of social propriety dictate that I provide some meaningless validation of your existence here.'
Mark Zuckerberg receives only a $1 yearly salary as the CEO of Facebook. And the kids working at the sweatshop I run think they've got it hard.
Facebook has over 2 billion active monthly users, narrowly beating out the previous record held by your mom.
There are over 50 million dead people on Facebook. In fact, 10,000 Facebook users die each day, which begs the question: why don't we save all these people by taking down the site?
The main color of Facebook is blue because Mark Zuckerberg suffers from red-green colorblindness. At least he'll be able to clearly see my balls.
Facebook is responsible for 1/3 of all divorces in the USA, making it the number 1 source of marital break ups in the country. So if you're trapped in a loveless marriage, using Facebook is by no means a guarantee; you may have to resort to more drastic measures such as fucking the mother-in-law.
Facebook tracks the sites you visit even after you sign out. You can imagine how inconvenient that is for someone like me where my roommate always borrows my laptop to visit porn sites right after I check up on how well my ex is holding up following our recent break up 4 years ago.
You can change your language on Facebook to 'Pirate'. Doing so will rename your news feed to 'home port', friends list to 'crew roster' and trending topics becomes 'popular booty' etc. Clever eh? Now, if they really had a sense of humor, they would have offered braille as an option too.
Well there you go, hope you all learned something new about Facebook. With this information, you can all become billionaires by travelling back in time to 2005 and investing in the company, so what are you waiting for?
Images from pixabay.com
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