Can't stand the drama

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It's a typical love affair with lots of great moments, wonderful dating experiences and generally good or wholesome experiences all around. You get along with the family, and they seem happy and content.

Then, as life happens, reality strikes....the in-laws are human too!!

When a person grows up in a very calm and easy going home, and then joins in with a more volatile expressive and dramatic family, this can be very disconcerting. Actually, any empath can really feel the pressure when faced with overly dramatic people in their live's regardless in what environment.
Most calm or temperate personalities hate drama.....it really tends to push them over the edge. How can people feel that making others live's more difficult, can help in their own lives? Why such power play? Are these games....or seriously how they are?Why are these people 'energized' by this drama? Who wants to live like that? This is too much!

How does one deal with it all?

There are a couple of suggestions in dealing with dramatic people in general, and I think these are some of the starting points that should be highlighted.
If you are an empathetic person, you tend to feel what others feel, and this can drain you of your own energy and life. Be careful when getting embroiled in the drama.

• If you give into their demands from the drama, they will feel that that is a way to get what they want. DON'T start that trend, as you will be feeding the monster
  
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• Some people specifically enjoy drama, and these you should avoid. BUT this is easier said than done when dealing with family or work colleagues. However I personally believe you would need to start limiting your time with these people if possible. This is a very tough one however, because often dramatic people will be offended by your protection of yourself and cut themselves off, or bring it up often....sometimes that is just for the best when there is time out, and when done often enough, that pattern can be stopped. remember like a child throwing a tantrum, feeding the tantrum is a bad thing
• Do nothing. That is a strange thing to suggest! Sometimes this is the best thing to do. If they are feeding off your reactions, then don't feed them. Many times those who cause drama are happy with any sort of attention, positive OR negative, and so the best medicine is to give them NONE. Reasoning with them often does not help
• If they are people that do listen, then tell them that this will stop now, and until they can deal with you calmly, you will no longer engage with them. I have had this work on adults and children

Build a reputation for not participating in drama. ~Addy Rodriguez

Just be. Anything you resist persists. Don’t add any negative or positive focus on it. ~Nikki Star

Be an observer. Not everything needs a reaction. ~Angelina PhouGui Chan-Ong

So to summarize:

1. Stop rewarding their behavior
2. Protect yourself
   
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3. Do nothing / stop feeding the drama
4. Set boundaries
   
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As you might know, these things are only suggestions, and in the 'real' world the changes are slow and difficult, but remember that most dramatic people are that way because of 'real' life things that happened to them. So there is no need to be nasty or stop caring for them.

According to Ophelia Austin, there are several reasons why someone would be overly dramatic:

• A personality disorder like borderline personality disorder (BPD) or histrionic personality disorder.
• Childhood trauma ranging from abuse to natural disasters.
• Childhood neglect – physical, emotional, intellectual
• Genetic predisposition

So as someone that is an empath, I feel inclined to suggest we all love them anyway....but that leads back into the above discussion where it eats me alive.

It is a knife's edge, so I hope the above helps you somewhat on that balancing act.

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