The Agitation of Being Judged
I remember a few years ago, I had a fear of being judged.
Whether it was in social interactions, small talk or simply discussing big plans.
The fear had me living the life of a bystander.
There were days where I saw people who seemed less competent moving on up.
While me?
I stayed in the background.
The true realization came on the day when I was working in my first ever job.
It was an engineering company that dealt with building airplane parts.
I remember I was in awe because it was always my dream to be an engineer in a firm where I mattered.
Since it was a small company, I had the opportunity to prove myself.
Your boy worked extra hard on his projects.
There was this one particular project that stuck out.
It was called the Electronic Standby Instrument System (ESIS).
That was my baby.
I saw the development & played a major role in getting it set up.
Worked as a coder, electrician & systems engineer for that device.
Did all I could to make the idea become a reality.
I knew ESIS so well, that I soon became the point of contact for the device.
There was this lady named Barbara Palma who I needed to report to.
She was a project manager in her 70s.
One day, she called me into her office & asked for an update on the latest software install.
Me wanting to prove how smart I was went on a tirade of technical jargon.
Her response?
A look of disgust at my poor communication skills.
Within the next few weeks, I failed to deliver Debra the insights she wanted.
My message wasn't incorrect.
But my delivery sure as hell was.
This was not a good look considering how important Debra was to the firm.
Made me look incompetent.
Within the next 2 weeks, there was a new kid named Jargon who had gotten hired.
He was the exact opposite of me.
0 fear of being judged, charismatic & very expressive.
But his flaw? Dude was a shit engineer.
There was nothing to worry about!
Wrong.
Within 2 short weeks, Barbara & Jargon became all buddy buddy.
They cracked jokes with each other, had lunch & became close.
But it got to a point where this was bad news for me.
'Why?'
Because Jargon was a bigger threat than I thought.
Within a short time span, Jargon was made the new point of contact for ESIS by Barbara.
He attended the big meetings, got exposure & was networking with all of the higher ups!
But me?
In the cube doing all the grunt work.
I was livid.
How the fuck was this guy already surpassing me?
He barely knows engineering!!
I'm the engineer. Me!!
Not him.
But it didn't matter.
I learned a major real world lesson that day.
You can have all the knowledge in the world.
But unless you can transfer that knowledge into someone else's mind, then you will remain a worker.
You're not going to move up.
Unless you can talk to people, you are simply going to do the work that they can automate in the near future.
For the past 5+ years, I have learned from that moment.
I learned that I need to invest in my communication skills or fall behind.
Adapt or lose to the Jargon's of the world.
Which is exactly what I did.
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Currently, I am working with a few clients to help them improve this skill set.
If you are someone who struggles with expressing themselves, has social anxiety or a fear of being judged, then my program is for you.
It's time that you shed past the awkwardness and become reborn as your most charismatic self.
Don't just become a Jargon.
Become better.
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