MY CALLGIRL RITUAL

A while ago I did a post about my camming ritual (titual). I remember at the time someone (an escort client I believe) had read it and was looking forward to the escort alternative. Months later, inspired by an escort meet I did this morning.. here is part II.

While getting ready for camming is a pretty chilled affair, where I like to take my time, getting ready for an escort meet needs to work like a clockwork well oiled military machine.

Since my appointment was in the morning, my prep started last night. Fave underwear in the wash. Clothes laid out. Nails perfectly manicured and toenails freshly painted. Little black hairs that randomly grow out my nips tweezed – seriously, my body hair's so fair that NOWHERE does it grow as dark as on my nipples. I know it's common for women, and it's not ridiculous, like ape nips or summat (just the odd one every now and again), but like if that colour hair could migrate its way up to my ridiculously blonde eyebrows I'd be a happy bunny. Moving on anyway..

I get the address and directions all sorted on google maps, so I know when to set off, how early to drag myself out of bed and circumstances depending, guess if I have enough petrol to get me there.

Safe to say, I am not a morning person. I set my alarm for 8 this morning, allowing myself 15 minutes snooze time. I snoozed for half an hour, then hit the shower. In the shower I do all the usual shower things, as one might expect, as well as completely defuzzing my body. I like being smoothy smooth. Pyjamas back on and downstairs for breakfast. Cereal, strong coffee, cigarette. For anyone who may be interested, my favourite cereal is usually of the full of sugar, children's variety. TV on, with whatever show I'm binging at the minute.

While the coffee kicks in and I have my smoke, I check what google maps is saying. Today, for example; Disaster. Traffic's a nightmare, roads are closed and to get there on time I would need to leave in 45 minutes and I'm currently sitting there like a zombie in a towel turban. I hate being rushed, so a quick text to the client to see if I can push it back half an hour – client is lovely and says this is fine. I also confirm with my safety person (usually now it's the bf) what time they should expect me done, and when, if they haven't heard from me, should they call the police.. I doubt it, but if anyone's reading who's considering being an escort, I can't stress how important it is to have this person. Never go anywhere where someone doesn't know where you are.

(Accurate depiction of me in my bathroom. Except that pic was 100% taken when it was dark in the mornings, and 70% sure hasn't slept yet)

Next is hair and makeup. When camming I let my hair dry naturally, but that takes roughly ten hours so blow dry it is. I also trowel on the makeup for the webcam, but for meets I keep it appropriate to the setting and time of day, and generally as light as I can, because it usually ends up being rubbed off anyway. I reward myself with the successful completion of my hair and makeup with another cig. I say I need a lot of time to get ready.. I do spend quite a lot of time laying around. Heyho, it helps relax me, as the nervous anticipation starts building. Because I feel, no matter how many times you do it, meeting a stranger, having no idea what they look like and a limited feel for what they expect of you is always nerve-wracking experience.

Anyway, next I get dressed. I always always use a nice smelling body lotion. I love being told I smell nice, and until it runs out, I'll be using the body cream that came with my sexy expensive perfume (Viktor and Rolf, Flowerbomb). I think, you never know where people will end up on your body.. kisses all over, I want it all to smell lovely. All these small attentions to detail.. perfect nails, nice smell, tweezed nips.. I really hope people notice and it adds to the whole experience of, essentially, an expensive shag.

I congratulate myself, after dressing and moisturising my whole body, with another cig and a relax for as long as I can afford. In the last 20 minutes or so, I do THE FINISHING TOUCHES. First, pack my bag - I have one bag I use for escorting, and the normal contents are as follows:

• Condoms. Overkill it without about 8, at least. All one size, normal. If you don't fit, we ain't doing shit.
• Lube. Nice big pump bottle I got for cheaps off Amazon.
• Recently added babyoil. I'm a qualified masseuse, and a massage can be a good way to kill extra time.
• Chewing gum. Try and hide the fact I already smoked a million fags today.
• Perfume, make up (too many times I've been left with stubble rash on my poor sensitive face to not at least pack foundation everytime from now on), lip balm, deodorant … For last minute touch ups in the car.
• Urrrrr phone, keys, purse.

It's a wonderfully spacious handbag. I brush my teeth, and spritz myself with perfume. I usually leave 10 mins before google says I have to go (I do put a lot of trust in google, but lets be honest, they're wicked for maps). Then once in my car, before I set off, I get my phone all plugged into the aux, turn on the satnav and put on a podcast. I particularly love true crime podcasts (my faves are Casefile and Sword and Scale if you're into it, and I always want recommendations!) so I usually listen to one of them – ones about murdered prostitutes particularly get the adrenaline pumping.

I've never had a bad escorting experience. Everytime it's a rush of weird nerves, and the ice is usually broken within the first 5 minutes. FYI – nothing breaks the ice faster than a good blowjob ;)

I'm aware this is loooong, longest thing I've written in a while, but it's been fun to write. CONGRATS for reading til the end, here's a picture:

(Classy pic cuz am a classy bird doing classy meets)