Crumbles like a cookie

Sometimes I am not sure which direction I'm going in, and that's okay. It leaves an element of surprise. I'm trying to be positive best that I can and it doesn't always mean I'm going to be successful, but I'm still trying. My head is heavy and my body is tired of supporting it, but I feel this release of emotion and thoughts is necessary so I can have a productive week not clogged with negativity? I think.
I have to accomplish something if I want to be somebody who makes a difference and I can't stop holding myself back from happiness.
I fell down the stairs last week, that held me back a bit. I have $0 to my name and Christmas soon, holding me back a lot. Work giving me a little over a month to miraculously get better or I'm fired, holding me down. My husband is tired of being disappointed with me. I feel like I should be laying on the ground waiting for my new pain specialist appointment in January.
Not even sure what I am expecting from that appointment, but at least it will be a specialist.
Have not been working on my positive projects like the support group or positive pictures, I have not felt positive in a few days.
But hopefully this week is different.
I need to make it so.
May this week be beautiful for everyone reading this. Find things to make you happy and smile about the little things.
It's that time of year to fake it until ya make it.
Positive thoughts,
-Kristen
@HippieRaysWays