Why Forgiveness Is Hard
I'm admitting right now that I probably have the biggest marshmallow heart in existence. I don't get hurt and offended easily when it comes to myself (unless there is family involved) which is a good thing. But when it comes to someone I love and they are getting hurt because of me I become a mamma bear, I hold a grudge like it's nobodies business, but let's face it. More often then not if you do that you are just hurting yourself. This is where forgiveness comes in.
Have you ever wondered why it is so hard to forgive someone? The answer is simple. There is a lot of steps to get to that point and the hardest one of all is forgiving yourself. All Christians are taught that you need to forgive to be forgiven. In my case it's easy for me to forgive someone else but when it comes to myself, I hold on to that pain and hatred. I can honestly say I don't know why.
I know the next question. Why would I need to forgive myself? This is where one of my life stories will come into play. Have you ever been hurt by someone else by no fault of your own? (The answer is probably yes). Well what happened to me was that I was cheated on and then left for the other woman. The reason I hated myself was for not hating him. Strange how that happens but it does.
I think in some small space in a normal person's subconscious, there is an area that thinks of things you could have said, done, acted etc to avoid getting hurt. This is why you need to forgive yourself.
In cases where things just exploded (we all have that one person or thing that pushes the detonate button of our rage). That is a little more difficult because it is easier to blame than to admit and face the fact that you in your rage could have said or done things to hurt someone else. The truth is that before you can ask forgiveness (and actually mean it) you need to admit to yourself that you were wrong, forgive yourself and then ask for forgiveness. This is called repentance.
Basically to sum it up. Forgiveness is hard because you need to forgive yourself first. Forgiving others is easy once you have done that.
Till next time
xoxo
@thegoldencookie
I have the opposite problem. I forgive too easy and people misuse that...
Means you have a marshmallow heart like me. I'm The same, I forgive people too easily but I struggle forgiving myself. I was once told that if you forgive someone it doesn't mean you need to be around them anymore so I tend to stay away from people that did that to me. I'm much happier now.
whatever is difficult quite often helps us to grow
truer words have never been spoken