First of all, my condolences to yours old friend. Mothers are lights and when those lights go off, nothing usually makes sense for a long while. Especially with a sudden death.
I lost mine two decades ago and I clearly recall my teenage self saying to herself... 'if you don't break down, you will help your younger sisters stay strong'. I was a month away from 15, I knew nothing about strength. Though I was praised for being 'so composed', I never grieved my mum. My youngest sister screamed her lungs out, she was 8 :( and the second born fainted over being overwhelmed by grief... I, on the other hand, kept the darkness that came with her death for years. So I keep grieving due to locking the pain in for too long. I am working on my anger over her death also. She died at freaking 33 years! :(
Age though is teaching me that sometimes special souls have limited time on earth. Theirs is to be our guides and angels for a certain period then leave us be as they are called back to their roles as eternal angels. We too are angels on wait... it is the ways of life regardless of obvious attachment to those we term as blood.
I am sorry your souls are in turmoil; may peace find it's way to your hearts and may her soul rest in it.
I expect the younger one is the worse this is. You only know the mother you lived under and never experienced her as just the friend your children called Grand Mother.
Very interesting outlook. This leaves something to ponder.
Thank you for your words during this time.
She is. I worry about her soul constantly. She says she envies us for the time we had with mum then she is like maybe it's better she didn't know her because she sees the pain in our eyes when we talk about missing her. It's depressing... Death always is in a way.