Sometimes even doing our best, life gets hard. My first post.

I have been here for a while thinking about what to post, but, really for a while.. I tried writing about travels I have recently made, low cost, backpacking, mountain, camping kind of trips; then I when for more technical topics, business and FODA related, but, my life have took different path since I start writing, and due to that I decided to write about something else in my first post, about LIFE...

Sometimes even doing our best, life gets hard.

I recently found out that my father has cancer, and I know, this happens a lot, is not a dead sentence, but i got into a dark place, but let me explain you why:

Im from Venezuela, I as many other Venezuelan, had to left my country, and my family with it, including my dad. I haven't seen him in over 3 years now, when I found out he had cancer, I started changing my life in order to be able to help him more, but them things got worse in my country and with his diagnostic.

He has metastasis in his bones, in Venezuela the treatment he needs is not easy to access and even when you have the money, the medicines are simply not there. He is all alone, never re-married, do not work, do not own a place, do not have an insurance, or even a family member to make him company, he is a lonely wolf, an avid reader, a calm guy. But lets face it, cancer is not a desease that you can beat on your own, you need a pack.

All this made me go to the final decision of moving to a bigger place and bring him over to received the best treatment and take care of him, because, even when I knew that I was not ready for this; i would not be able to live with myself if I don't at least try, as I say, this is what the honor demands, and even if the outcome is not the one expected I will get to share all this time with him, and that will always ease my heart.

The thing is, sometimes you want to do good, do honorable but it seems like life do not get on your side, so, this has led me to an increasing anxiety problem, and I have started to feel like i had just too much in my plate; every single part of me have been fill with doubt, can I really do this?. In the past, i had doubt of myself, but not like this.

Is worth to say that I'm the kind of person that is always there, the one with the solutions, or the right words, the one who listens, the strong one, the supportive one, the planner. So, you may understand that feeling this way it is hard, very hard.

But i came to a realization today, I cant do it alone, and I have to accept this. Because even when my father is the one who is sick, my heart is also broken, my daddy has cancer.

So, if some of you who may read this are passing for a hard time, I will tell you it is ok to reach for help, it is ok to accept that you cannot do it alone, the doubt you are feeling now, is not bad, it only proves you are human, sometime ago i told this to my best friend, and now i will shared it with you, THE DOUBT IS ONLY BAD WHEN IT PARALYZE YOU. BE BRAVE. BE HOPEFUL, believe me I will.

Life is hard my friends; but we need to keep going.. I will try my best, seek the help I need, lean on my love ones, and pull myself out of the dark place, because, YES, only you can pull you out of the BOTTOM.

Now, if you readed all this, I want to thank you, and I want you to know, that if you are not ok now, you WILL BE FINE, and if you feel you cant, well, you CAN!! And you can let your comment, I will read it, you are not alone, not in here.

If you have some topic in mind that you like me to write, just let me know. Hopefully, things will end up just fine and if you can share some of your love and good vibes with me, I will be super happy.