Coping Strategies for the Shared Parent Volume 1- Television Time Over The Phone

Time away from your child as a shared parent can be torturing, not being able to add value to your child's experiences, teaching lessons or simply enjoying each other's company. While we are fretting and worrying, looking for solutions and being creative is a much more preferred way to spend our time. 

                                                         

According to Neilson.com, children being left to the exercise of watching television is at an 8 year high:

"TV viewing among kids is at an eight-year high. On average,  children ages 2-5 spend 32 hours a week in front of a TV—watching television, DVDs, DVR and videos, and using a game console. Kids ages  6-11 spend about 28 hours a week in front of the TV. The vast  majority of this viewing (97%) is of live TV " Citation A.

So in other words, when I am not being active with my child and are miles apart, there is a greater chance than not that she is sitting in front of the electronic babysitter known as the television. 

The neglect of children being placed in front of a television unsupervised without interaction has several negative effects. According to Kidshealth.com, some statistics cited are:

• Children who consistently spend more than 4 hours per day watching TV are more likely to be overweight.
• Kids who view violent acts on TV are more likely to show aggressive  behavior, and to fear that the world is scary and that something bad  will happen to them.
• TV characters often depict risky behaviors, such as smoking and drinking, and also reinforce gender-role and racial stereotypes. Citation B

                                                                 

In addition, a child without interaction while watching television is put into a trance state, accepting all of the suggestive sales pitches of commercials, allowing the television to dictate their morality, and using the television as a coping mechanism to being neglected.

However, not all television watching is counterproductive. There are several benefits to watching television WITH your child.  The importance of this time is multifold:   

1. The child feels important and loved.
2. He or she has an opportunity to model parent’s behavior.
3. The parent can observe and learn about the child’s reactions in order to better guide them.
4. The child has a chance to voice their thoughts and feelings.
5. The parent and child develop a stronger bond.

When my daughter and I watch shows, it is an interactive experience. We pick which shows we want to watch together, selling each other on the benefits and fun we would or wouldn't have with the description of the shows that are in our lineup. When the program is playing, we don't just zombie into the show and watch through commercials without talking. We mute the commercials and discuss the interactions between the characters, which allows for an opportunity to guide positive thought as well as teach morality. Sometimes, during the commercials being on mute, we even try to act like Tom Servo or Crow to exercise some creativity.

This leads me back to the beginning of the article, in which I look to find out how I can get the most out of the time she is not with me. My daughter calls me usually every other day, if not each day which we are apart. During this time we talk about typical conversational topics, such as school, planning for the weekend or the next weekday. However, after the small talk, we have begin putting the phone on speaker and syncing up our Netflix accounts to watch our shows together. It helps us stay connected, the conversation continues through the show and after the show we usually do a 5 minute discussion of what we think of the characters and their actions. It makes both of us feel happy to enjoy one another's company and also prevents the zone out time when she is over her mother's. 

                                                            

I hope this post was of value to anyone going through this situation and will help you maintain a strong connection with your loved ones. Upvote, comment and follow if you did :)

And remember, our children will only be children once. You will never regret time you spent with them by bypassing other activities. Have no regrets!

Citations: 

A-  [1] McDonough P.  TV viewing among kids at an eight-year high. Nielsenwire. October 26, 2009. Accessed 11 November 2009. 

B- http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/tv-affects-child.html#