I think it is interesting to consider how others might view us as we can never truly know. It is also a question of whether their view is valuable or whether even the views of those close to us shouldn't matter due to their various biases. What I think though is that we should all spend some time thinking about whether what we do is getting to what we need.

I think that is my focus which still could be selfish depending on the means done to get there.

It is all selfish if you consider the feedback or the feeling of doing a good job a return.