5 Other Ways to Better Ourselves

Whether we like it or not we are creatures of habit that easily fall into routines and automate behaviors. To a large degree this is necessary, can you imagine having to pay attention to your toes, ankles, knees, hips and all the balancing required just to walk? We wouldn't ever get any where if we didn't automate walking. However there are things that we can miss when such mental chunking is done.

Along this line of thought, here are a handful of self betterment and awakening tips that aren't always on these types of lists. I'm by no means arguing against ideas from others, but rather wanted to try to include something additional.

1. Mean What you Say, Say What you Mean

We usually know what we are trying to say, but using a limited set of words can make these ideas difficult to communicate. Many concepts that we can't point to (non-physical, abstract things,) like emotions, require a context beyond the word. We've all heard people give the blasé 'I love you' that just doesn't feel quite like the sentiment is behind the statement. Compare this to the boy/girlfriend, friend, or family member that is saying the same thing while running to give you a hug.

Even when we have the best of intentions, meaning can be lost in translation. How many times have we seen sarcasm or satire be completely lost in a text message?

The other side of this is that words often fall short when trying to convey the meaning of something non-physical and abstract. For example, think about the word God and what it means to you, the feelings it generates, the history it pulls from. Some people hear this word and are filled with joy, feeling of connection, etc. while others view it as something divisive or harmful. While I'm not debating the meaning on this word, see how vastly different the subjective meanings can be?

My point here is that we often forget that many words for subjective concepts (versus objective concepts that can be pointed to) don't hold the same meaning for others. To me these are where the interesting discussions start, when we get beyond the word and try to communicate the amorphous blob of what's in my head. Sometimes there just aren't words available to say what we mean, so we have to instead try and paint a picture and ask 'Do you know what I mean?'

2. Knowing is from Personal Experience, Trust is in Everything Else

I believe that Columbus sailed the ocean and that dinosaurs existed in the past. I can't say I KNOW this because my physical senses never detected this directly, I wasn't there. The only things I know (at least in my subjective opinion) are from my own sights, smells, interactions, etc.

While admittedly I'm not arguing against Columbus or dinosaurs in this cheesy example, it shows my point here. I choose to believe (or hold my best idea) that these things occurred, I am taking somebody else's word for it, such as faith in historians and paleontologists. I find it better to know where my leaps of faith are and in some cases minimize the gap. I don't expect to know everything, but I find it helpful to know what I don't know.

For those interested in further reading I highly recommend Prometheus Rising By Robert Anton Wilson.

3. Responsibility of Self

The feeling of personal power is important for the psyche. When we feel trapped in a situation that only someone else can fix for us, we are passing off our power to something or someone else.

I've talked with countless people about their problems (being that person in my friend groups) and every once in a while I run into somebody that doesn't want feedback on how they can approach things differently, but rather want me (or others) to fix it for them. After about the fourteenth time of hearing the same issue, from the same person, because someone else hasn't fixed it for them, I run out of things to say. This is what I've termed 'pretty pretty princess syndrome,' meaning that they just want to bring up issues for others to fix it, rather than being a part of the solution themselves. Don't take this as a call to stop helping others, but rather as being mindful of the fine line between helping and enabling.

My point out of all this is that we are responsible for ourselves. This is why I used to start my writing with the disclaimer, "Do not listen to me for I am crazy and don't know anything." The goal with this was to prevent people for just agreeing with me because I said it. I'd rather them agree because it actually made sense to them. The same applied to religious, political or other figureheads...do you agree because so and so said it, or because it actually makes sense.

4. Pay Attention to what Makes you Happy

We are put together to notice and typically take action against things that are wrong like pain, sickness, sadness, frustration, etc. It's just a natural reaction to focus on the negatives when they pop up. Usually without even trying the things that are wrong just come to mind.

Now things about yourself while you are happy, just enjoying a moment. Did you stop yourself to think, "Why am I happy?" Probably not, you were just taking the positive experience in. This isn't a bad thing, but rather a note on how the psyche tends to work.

Next time you are having an enjoyable time, try to reflect on why you are liking it. Sometimes it's helpful to analyze the good things.

(Just once in a while. There is still something to be said about being in the moment.)

5. Be Here Now

I frequently view time as being either now, or not now. The now is completely in the moment, not consciously thinking, just going with the flow. Anything that is conscious thought, by definition, is not in the now, due to the time it takes to create an abstract concept in the mind.
It's pretty much impossible to live our entire lives in the 'now,' short of being an isolated monk in the mountains or something. But taking at least some time to be purely in the moment, whether meditation, play or something else, can be very helpful to put things in perspective, appreciate people or experiences, etc.

The book Be Here Now by Ram Dass gets into this in depth and is a great read to boot.

Photo Sources:
Excellence Quote
Be Here Now
Say What You Mean Quote
Knowledge Quote
Responsibility Quote
Mindfulness Quote