Barren And Blessed

in life •  7 months ago

The word "barren" is not one I ever thought I would associate myself with, it sounds so, well, barren! But three years ago, this is the brick wall I hit. The doctors stared at me with blank faces, they just couldn't tell my husband and I why we weren't conceiving, in fact this is still the case. To date, every specialist we have seen (and there have been a few), can't give us a valid reason as to why our baby-making machines aren't working. We have a diagnosis that is called "unexplained infertility" - not much of a diagnosis, right?

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Before I continue, please don’t pity me, my story is a happy one, a journey I have embraced, a blessing. And, if you too are barren, just like me, perhaps I can help you to make peace with the word and have hope.

Define barren: 

not producing or incapable of producing offspring; sterile - http://www.dictionary.com/browse/barren

Wow! Could the dictionary be harsher? There’s no pussyfooting here, that’s for sure. After doing the “baby dance” for more than five years, and breaking the bank with visits to specialists, we came to terms with the fact that we were: incapable of producing offspring. Sigh. It broke me. I was born to be a mother, it was my talent in fact. Was I the butt of some heavenly joke?

On the contrary. I didn’t quite know it then, but destiny had a plan for me, a journey that I would never have chosen otherwise, but has now been my biggest, happiest, life-changing adventure in the world! I’m talking about the ADOPTION OPTION.

Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and straining our relationship even further, hubby and I decided to be proactive. We made the decision to volunteer at an orphanage. Theses kids had no parents, and we had no children, it simply felt like we needed each other. And oh my did we fall in love, our hearts opened up to these special little souls. We also started to rub shoulders with the adoption community. And there it was, the answer slapped us in the face and said “now do you see what’s meant to be?”

It didn’t take long for the husband and I to get our butts into gear. We found ourselves a social worker, put our documents together and BAM! Four months later we were parents to the world’s most beautiful four-month-old baby boy. When I held him for the very first time, Goosebumps covered me all over, this moment was waiting for us.

Fast forward to today, I have just put my now three-year-old kid to bed, what a privilege. I might not have carried him in my belly for nine months, but he was definitely born in my heart, mine in every way. 

I am thankful that I am barren, it might not make sense to you, but to me, to my husband, we are here to adopt, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Our adoption journey was an eye-opener, a reminder that things are not black and white, and that we should embrace the grey. In fact, we are about to embrace the grey once again, that’s it, we have just started the adoption process for the second time around and we will soon be waiting for baby number two!

Side note: While adoption is not for everyone, it really is a humbling process and a reminder that when we grow our families, children come first, no matter how, what or why; they come first. So, if you find yourself barren, at least consider the option of adoption?

Much love - @sweetpea

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What a beautiful story!

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Glad you think so :)

I am proud of you! It is a step, full of love, for the second time. May everything be fine with you. Reading your message, I had tears involuntarily. These are tears of joy that you have found your way and true destiny. I'm sending you rays of goodness from me.

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Ah that is so sweet of you, thank you for your kind words x

This is a very inspiring adoption story. I salute you for seeing everything so positively and I love that about you. This story is so full of love and I'm touched by it. You are indeed blessed, @sweetpea, can't imagine how it was like with your goosebumps first time meeting him!!! 💝

Congratulations for the baby #2 too! Such awesome thing you are doing for the baby and for yourselves :)

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Thank you so much, I hope I can inspire others who suffer from infertility to stay positive and know that their other just as special ways to become parents. Already very excited to meet our second child!

So wonderful that you can highlight the positive from your experience. I'm sure that it must of been an incredibly difficult time and it's wonderful to hear that in the end you were blessed beyond blessings. Sometimes life really doesn't end up the way we think it will but sometimes the end result ends up being exactly what we wanted. We just had to follow a different path to get there. All the best xxx.

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So true, I cannot even begin to explain how "right" my family feels. Just another example of how there is a reason for everything and that nothing needs to be the end all.

Your post has been selected to be entered into @teamsouthafrica's Daily Nominated Post section in Teamsouthafrica's Discord group. Congratulations!

#teamsouthafrica
https://discord.gg/9KVccPH Come Connect

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Whoop whoop, thanks, made my day :)

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Just a pleasure - thank you for the great content!

Beautiful Post, Thank You. I remember reading something about a little Girl who said she was adopted in reply to a Question at School. " My mother said I was special because She could choose me!"

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Oh yes, adopted children are wanted in EVERY way. Their little souls might have a rough start in life, which is terribly sad, but they are here with purpose, I hope every adopted child knows this.

What an inspiring story, @sweetpea! Words have such power, and indeed the word "barren", in cahoots with its alliterative buddies "bleak" and "bare", conspire to make us believe the only conclusion is "no hope". Au contraire! It's a door opener to such a beautiful kind of parental love. Kudos to you and your husband on taking the adoption step the first time and for choosing to adopt a second child, a sibling to your Loved One. 💗💗

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Thanks @kiligirl :) You are right, words are powerful, but as humans we have power over them, so I decided to show "barren" who's boss! We are looking forward to growing our family once again, we are very privileged!

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You and your husband sound like very special people! :-)

You have such a lovely outlook on life. Your son is very lucky you pursued adoption and hopefully a new little one will have the same luck to join him.

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Thanks rabbit :)

Thank you for sharing your story.

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My pleasure :)

Actively seeking, a child finds you, now two will have an awesome home to grow up in together, under your loving kindness and guidance @sweetpea

What a wonderful outlook and Bravo for the adoption option. So many kids have nobody to guide them through life teaching them right from wrong.

Thank you for sharing this @sweetpea. I am glad that you find peace and joy on this journey. Good luck with the new special one that is on the way for you! Blessings!

I love these stories. Women and couples embracing the challenges of becoming a parent. I am not a mother - a long story there - and am fine with that. It sometimes seems to me, that adopted children are treasured more than biological ones - because of the parents' journeys to parenthood. So happy for you!

Thanks for sharing your beautiful story @sweetpea. I'm inspired by your positiveness. This is indeed a blessing in disguise! :)

Well i read a lot of stories of people who are barren but you changed the narration, you turned it to blessing. You chose love and happiness and i tell you surely you are more blessed than those who carried in their womb. I am inspired.

God bless you