Perspective: Thoughts that change lives

Perspective: Thoughts that change lives

"Our life is the creation of our mind" - Buddha

Our lives were quite simple some twenty thousand years ago. To be an animal is to rely on instincts and feelings alone. But we, humans, have evolved beyond that. Our greatest weapon is the mind.

From the time we developed language our culture started pluming. Increasingly sophisticated thoughts could be reached and written down. Through logical thought, science, We created things the world had never seen before and did things no one had ever done before. Yet no matter how evolved we were, we still were driven by our instincts and feelings. This has led to many wars and conflicts in the past. Many personal issues and problems in society. How is it that creatures that can create such complex things we create today are still plagued by rather small personal issues: anxiety, vanity, jealousy, greed, intolerance... which manifest themselves in the bigger picture: wars, conflicts, corruption, inequality.

We don't have to be like that and we can all live in peace. Everything we have created started from our minds. Everything that has ever happened to us and every emotion we have ever felt is the product of our mind. If we want to change the world, we'll have to start with our own world first, with our minds.

A plank slate - Remember when you were young

It's easy to say small children to be good and respect others, but children don't learn what we think we teach them. Let's look at it from the child perspective. Telling a kid not to take food from another kid, because it's bad, will only make the kid realize something they failed somehow so next time they will remember that taking someone elses food will result in a bad experience. Those lessons get implanted in their brain until a pattern appears. They start behaving and respecting others, or maybe they also start fearing that most of their actions could lead to disappointment and failure. What we recognize as anxiety later in life. So let's start there...

1. Forget about your feelings, social conventions, everything you've learned.

Whenever you get challenged, asked a question, intimidated or have something difficult to do, observe your feelings and thoughts, but don't let them control you. Detach yourself and forget how you should act. In this detached state it's easier to life as it is and deal with challenges more objectively and effectively. Do the first thing that comes to mind. What feels natural. But always take your time.

We decide how we react to events in our lives. We are the ones that ultimately judge ourselves, set expectations, create a cage around us and believe life should be lived according to rules which don't exist. If you offend others by being honest, it's their fault that they got offended and be sure to point that out. [1]

John Lennon: “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”[3]

There's no reason to feel anxious and stressed out about things. Everything happens and it's the way it's supposed to be.

Henry Ford: "Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently."[2]

Look at it from a different angle and we shouldn't fear failure, but embrace it. Replace anxiety with curiosity and enthusiasm. The world is your playground, there's nothing to be afraid of.

2. Imagine you're watching yourself from afar

What would you think of yourself? They way you behave. The things you do. Are they reasonable?

Maybe there's something you wouldn't observe otherwise.

I do this quite often. I find it weird that I'm spending that much time infront a screen of pixels. That I talk such nonsense when I'm out with friends. That I'm not doing anything useful with my spare time.

And looking back, I find it strange that I used to obsess about failed relationships that much. It's not that hard to just let go and move on with your life. Feeling bad is the worst thing to do. "Fuck yeah, i'm single, I've so much time again and I can concentrate all my energy on myself!"

“Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.” ― Jean Racine

3. "The power of now" by Eckhart Tolle

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." - Alice Morse Earle [5]

We shouldn't worry about what has been and what will be. Everything we can control is the present. It's vital to acknowledge that our past and future don't exist. They doen't affect us. We create the past and the future by thinking of it. Yet there is no way we ever control anything than our presence. The power is always in the now.

Quotes by Eckhart Tolle: [4]

“...the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whaterver form. Both are illusions.”

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”

“Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let it go, and on a deeply unconscious level, you do not want positive change. It would threaten your identity as a depressed, angry or hard-done by person. You will then ignore, deny or sabotage the positive in your life. This is a common phenomenon.

It is also insane.”

“Watch any plant or animal and let it teach you acceptance of what is, surrender to the Now.

Let it teach you Being.

Let it teach you integrity — which means to be one, to be yourself, to be real.

Let it teach you how to live and how to die, and how not to make living and dying into a problem.”

“Focus attention on the feeling inside you. Know that it is the pain-body. Accept that it is there. Don't think about it - don't let the feeling turn into thinking. Don't judge or analyze. Don't make an identity for yourself out of it. Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you. Become aware not only of the emotional pain but also of "the one who observes," the silent watcher. This is the power of the Now, the power of your own conscious presence. Then see what happens.”

“Don't look for peace. Don't look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender”

4. There's an universe in all of us, but we all have to fit in one universe

There are over 7 billion of us and each and every one of us experience a different reality. My thoughts and my identity is the combined sum of all experiences i've ever experienced. In regards of the previous point, I acknowledge and accept who I am, I don't dwell on it. I know that with each passing moment, who I am, changes. With that change, my beliefs change, therefore my perception of reality changes.

Every person experiences a different life, a different reality. Therefore it's crazy to think we all share the same values and think alike. How can one person be right in this world if most of what we consider being true is based upon assumptions.[1]

Well, it's hard to refute that the sun is shining outside or it's cold outside. These are plain and simple observations about the state of things as they are in the moment. We can debate them in the sense that maybe for the blind people the sun never shines and stating something is cold is subjective, but that's about it. When it comes to more vague topics like religion, faith, a perfect society, how to live happily, what is life etc. it becomes quite difficult to agree on one answer. The thing is, there can be many right answers since as stated above, we are all different and our lives have given us different answers to different questions.

But it's important to keep an open mind about it. We have to accept other answers and doubt in our own. It's easy to get convinced in your own ideas when there's an echo chamber around us or noone to talk to. The truth is, there might be no definite answers to some questions - the truth can be ever changing just like humans.

"Dr. Wayne Dyer famously wrote, “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.” We all struggle with the insecurities of our egos, with the insecurity of being wrong. And a threatened ego will almost always lash out. When we make an effort to prove someone wrong by establishing ourselves as right, we’re being unkind in the process, whether we intend to be or not. Only the ego cares about the distinctions between right and wrong. The heart simply loves and accepts whomever is on the other side of the conversation. Let’s operate from our hearts, with kindness." [6]

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

5. The Power of duality

Light is both particle and wave. It took a long time for physicists to accept this, since it hard to believe that such opposites could actually be one and the same. It throws out conventional logic which deals with absolutes and forces us to question and rethink everything.[8]

I am everything yet nothing. An insignificant part of the universe. It depends on my perspective.

"The Way of the Samurai calls this the trackless road, where infinite secrets appear. Once we realize how truly we are lacking we only have everything to gain. Holding onto this thought can remove all sense of both pride and humility. Without knowing anything there is nothing to be proud of, and at the same time we no longer need to feel humiliated because we have come to terms with our shortcomings. Even while we know nothing, we can know everything because the truth of every situation exists in our being."[7]

"You know nothing, You know everything."

"This is why always being open to being wrong can be so powerful. You create a dynamic persona that cannot show weakness because when you truly let go of yourself, you open yourself to the universe instilling you with the most powerful type of truth. You become a fluid force that adapts to everything and anything on a whim, because your ego and preconceptions don’t get in the way. Having an ego makes people fall hard, stops them from learning the errors of their ways and stops them from shifting the next constructively critical opportunity into a new, more powerful and improved version of their being. Being overly confident with your knowledge makes us vulnerable to clinging onto something false."[7]

"Bruce Lee believed this as a core part of his fighting philosophy. I love it because I think it applies far beyond martial arts: “Be formless… shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle; it becomes the bottle. You put it into a teapot; it becomes the teapot. Water can flow, or it can crash. Be water, my friend..” "[7]

"Knowing nothing lets us flow into everything. I’ve been in martial arts just long enough to finally allow myself to know nothing, while simultaneously using everything I know. When someone throws an attack, a completely relaxed, open and trained mind will automatically show you the paths you can take to success, all you must do is let yourself flow through these paths. In this sense the only person you are overcoming is yourself. This is where the power of rising above opposites come into play. If we know nothing, we can know everything. Whatever true knowledge we have acquired already exists outside of our being, all we need to do is let it apply itself, let it fill the void like water. Such are many things in life, letting go of some of your beliefs can set you free and give you the ability to rise above the rest. “It’s only once you’ve lost everything that you are free to do anything” Tyler, Fight Club."[7]

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” ― Socrates

6. Balancing aversion and attachment

Our emotions always emerge with context. We feel in a certain way toward different things or even feelings: when we feels sad, we also feel sad because we feel sad, if we feel good we also feel good because we feel good. Feelings can be self-perpetuating.[9]

2000 years ago, Siddhartha Gautama - Buddha - devised two ways how to understand the relationship between feelings. Some emotions are caused by aversion - whenever our inner self feels threatened and we seek refuge. Others from attachment - inability to let go of pleasure and desire, unsatisfactoriness. They are opposites and can both lead to the other.[9, 10]

To balance the relationship between aversion and attachment, there are two simple excercises.

Whenever we feel good feelings about something, we have to think about sharing those feelings with others who do not have the opportunity to experience such pleasures. With time this will raise compassion and happiness in our lives.[9]

Whenever we feel negative emotions, we have to think that we are feeling those feelings so our loved ones don't have to. We can also bring about all other people in our mind who feel the same way and acknowledge that these feelings are simply part of the human condition. This way we also practise compassion and instead of averting the negative thoughts, we embrace them so we don't feel sad for feeling sad. We get comfortable with these emotions because they are part of our being.[9]

With these techniques we can change the way we look at our emotions, better understand them and not lose ourselves.

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it...” ― Nicholas Sparks

The Takeaway

Our mind is a powerful tool which can completely change how we perceive the world. It's up to us to master it if we choose to.

"Our life is the creation of our mind" - Buddha

References:

[1] http://highexistence.com/15-reality-shattering-thought-experiments-that-will-unplug-you-from-the-matrix/

[2] http://consultantjournal.com/blog/henry-ford-failed

[3] http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/282517-when-i-was-5-years-old-my-mother-always-told

[4] https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/840520-the-power-of-now

[5] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk%3AAlice_Morse_Earle

[6] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-stabile/conscious-relationships_b_5627459.html

[7] http://highexistence.com/thinking-within-paradoxes/

[8] http://highexistence.com/the-nature-of-duality/

[9] http://highexistence.com/2-simple-buddhist-techniques-amplifying-positive-feelings-softening-negative-moods/

[10] http://acelebrationofwomen.org/2014/06/the-three-poisons-attachment-aversion-or-ignorance/

Pictures are from "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight Rises".

Thanks for reading!

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