WHO IS READY FOR SOME MOTHERFUCKIN' CRAFTS?!
Enclosed is a reference to a whore's crotch (it is stitched. Let's keep it relevant!), a stitched up meme, and a couple not so shocking pieces of the "meh" variety. Enjoy!
Ladies and gents, meet Bernard The Bat! My first, and currently, only hand sewn plushie!
But wait, that's not all!
Let's get a little subversive, shall we?
One of my pride and joys, a book quote by Christopher Moore! This piece has rustled some jimmies, but regardless, was actually shared by Christopher Moore, himself. And fuck yeah, I did scream like a little bitch when it was.
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Any Undertale fans in the house? This one was made for my little brother as a Christmas gift.
This was actually my first piece of needlework. It is near and dear to my heart. And filled with so many mistakes.
Has meme's, will craft.
WHO LIKES KNITTING?! YOU IN THE BACK! I SAW YOU RAISE YOUR HAND! LET'S GO!
A slouchy hat. It may not look like much, but it is soft as a kitten. And sheds like one
My first blanket! Probably my last. That was a tedious six months of clicking away.
A fair isle knit hat! Allow me to say on behalf of all knitters, this can be a REAL pain in the ass. Please don't ask for these. We hate you.
Okay, that's enough knitting. It bored the shit out of me and I'm the one subjecting you to it. I'm so sorry. Forgive me. I love you. Don't leave.
A super cute little cupcake bookmark that I use all the time. It currently resides in a book about serial killers. cheery.
And for my last offering to the amazing members of Steemit, here is my first project started and completed as a sober woman. Last seen in my previous blog.
A nice little TWD project. Because nothing takes your mind off the sweet, sweet craving for booze like stabbing something 40,000 times to make mutilated reanimated corpses!
I hope you liked seeing a little bit of my work! If not, well... fuck. Sorry about that! But feel free to comment if you didn't, and I also welcome any questions you may possibly have!
Follow me for more funny posts, adventures into the macabre, and subversive old lady crafts!
Holy cow Miss Stitchy! I think this is the most entertaining post that I have ever read here on Steemit and I have been on here a long time (one month). After I saw the "So say we all" poster in the background of one photo I was ready to punch the upvote button hard. That Battlestar Galactica was one "fracking" good show. But you weren't done yet, were you? The Michonne stitchwork at the end from The Walking Dead was amazing. I literally forgot where I was and "went gopher" in my cubicle when I saw it.
And this is the best damn comment I've gotten here on Steemit! What an amazing thing to say, you really touching me!
Oooooh my god, I love me some Bstar! And if you're feeling froggy, I've got an item that may shred the pants off your ass with pure excitement!
I have never heard the phrase "went gopher" but laughed myself damn sick trying to imagine it!
Thank you for leaving such an amazing comment that had my sides aching! I'll be following you, too! I would love to chat more!
Nikki, something magical happened to me after I read your post. And it wasn't when my supervisor came over to my cubicle and said, "sit your behind down unless you have a question!" It was when I realized that after a month of clicking around here on Steemit I finally had earned enough SBD to hit the "promote" button here on Steemit. So look for yourself in the "Promoted" column on Steemit because that's where I sent you. Thanks for the good times. You are the kind of blogger that makes this whole Steemit platform valuable. Many thanks. :-)
I am so incredibly humbled, touched, flattered, and choked up that you would use all your hard earned SBD on me! I... I really don't even know what to say or how to even begin to repay you for so many touching words and such an amazing gesture!
The words alone have made my night! The fact that you promoted me has made my MONTH! Maybe the whole year so far!
I promise I will work hard to justify what you just spent to get me visibility! <3 <3 <3 THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
You're awesome and hilarious!
Heck off best wun. <3
Stitching memes is so damn fun!
No you are. <3
OMG I knit too! We're like sisters! Hahaha.
WAIT. ARE YOU IN MILDLY OFFENSIVE FIBER ARTISTS ON FACEBOOK?! I think I saw you post your chap-dick!
AAAA! I love it so much.
I've never heard of that actually. I didn't make the pattern though - I'm sure he's a popular creation.
Well, now I feel fucking silly!
But I love your little dude, regardless!
Speaking of knit dicks, I have been wanting to make a huuuge dick scarf, like so huge it drags the ground behind me.
I'd love to see more of your knitting!
LOL that would be awesome! I'll have to dig around - I've given most of my stuff away.
Well, if you stumble upon some pictures of your work just let me know!
So I don't think I asked, have you considered trying out any other old lady hobbies?
Hmmm, like what? I wouldn't be opposed to new old lady hobbies.
Personally, I am a huge fan of cross stitch, as I am sure you can tell! It is really easy to pick up and start making stuff with.
Unless you don't like tedious stuff!
I bet you'd be awesome at felting, though!
You've got some serious skills. I love the blanket and the cats pajamas!
Well, slap my ass and call me Sally, thank you for saying that!
And let me tell you, that blanket comes in handy for the... three days of winter we get a year in Florida! Hahhahah!
Offensive crafts FTW!
You have some pretty amazing creations there, I quite like the cats pyjamas.
Fibre arts have always eluded me, if I were to try it would be pretty offensive but I wouldn't get much done lol.
I did make a glass butt plug once as a joke gift once, that caused much hilarity in our group it's still talked about 3 years on.
Just a minnow swimming in the undertow
I am so glad you like my post! I was a bit worried about posting originally because I didn't think it made for the most exciting content!
You should definitely try it! If you can make a damn glass butt plug, I bet you could make something awesomely fibre and offensive!
Also, I have to say, the fact that you made a glass butt plug is a good indicator that we will get on famously!
Just being yourself is enough, you will see your writing develop over time but don't be afraid to post.
Oh no me and anything to do with sewing, stitching, knitting or crochet don't get on.
It sounds like we will :)
Just a minnow swimming in the undertow
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So I just discovered your page and 1) you're hilarious and 2) omg your needlework is awesome
You're too kind! Sorry for the late reply, I never saw this for some reason!
Thank you so much! <3
It's all good!
The first one the bat it's gre3n, I want it! Lolol goes to show how much of a dork I am. Good work :)
@crosheille has made an initiative here on Steemit to spread needlework art and get it displayed. Sewing, knitting and crocheting seems to have become a lost art, that is until Steemit. There are quite a few crafters that still love these arts. A group of us share our needlework creations every Monday using the tag #NeedleworkMonday. We share ideas, tips, patterns and techniques while encouraging and inspiring one another. Any art involving a needle is welcome! You can post new projects that you are working on or archived projects that you have pictures of. We would love for you to join us on Mondays and post under the tag so everyone can find your work. It has gotten pretty popular these past few months and more crafters are starting to share. We hope you check it out :) Thanks for your time~