As to the back story, we've been together for 17 years and married for 11. We have two wonderful kids aged 6 and 3. In general we've had more good times than bad, or so I want to believe. I've never suspected my wife of infidelity and never considered it myself. We've had our issues over the years but we managed to get by. My wife isn't always the easiest person and this has strained many relationships over the years. As such I don't have much contact with my family anymore and if I do take the kids to see them its without her. Its not ideal, its just the way it is, its a sacrifice I chose to make. The thing that gets to me though is that my wife seems to be incapable of being happy. She has this ability to just suck the joy out of any situation. She doesn't have to say or do anything, you can just pick up by her body language that she isn't interested in sharing what anyone else is experiencing and it permeates everything until everyone is uncomfortable. She decided to take up a new office for her business this week. It will cost more than where she was and of course this required new furniture all round as well. Along with this she also got a brand new car. These are big ticket items all round but we did discuss it and as always if money is tight I'll jump in. Personally, I'd have been excited, but from her... So we got into a fight this afternoon because I finally got to have a look at the new car. This is 3 or 4 days now after she got it. I wanted to adjust the steering wheel as I was going to be driving and she just snapped. In front of the kids she was going on about something rather silly. I left it and didn't say anything till we got home again at which point I just remarked that she was being ugly and I wouldn't touch her stuff again.All hell broke loose then, she started ranting about how she has nothing and she'll go live in her car and that if I didn't want her there she would take the kids and just leave. As mentioned I persuaded her that she was being unreasonable but inside I just felt empty.The thing is its not just this occurence. Over the last year or so I've often been getting the question that I needed to decide if I wanted to be here etc. This was just the first time that she threatened she's going instead of turning it on me. I've always done what I thought was my best. I devote everything I have to this family and rarely think of myself. I've just reached a point though where I honestly feel I don't have anything left to give. I'm struggling to be with someone who in the first instance doesn't seem to want to be happy, no matter what, and in the second instance doesn't seem to want to be here and keeps on turning it on me. Asking me why I'm still here. Asking me if I don't want to go. Reminding me how she will be fine without me. She's even gone as far once as to say that if she had been able to afford it she would have left. I don't know if I'm strong enough to stay (even for my kids behalf) or if I'm too weak to go (for my own behalf). [submitted 2 days ago * by LogicalBaker; ive seen trends of posts being removed very quickly after their posted so testing this with a post thats been there 2 days]
If she's feeling depressed, this behavior matches depression. If she doesn't get help, this will continue or become worse. Her emotions screem "I'm unsatisfied" with something. What is it? Not sure, but she feels you're an easy target for her to go after. Kids, same.
Therapists can look at her situation and yours and talk about solutions, which may be medication. I feel she may need a few pills to help her, like antids if the situation is as serious as you make it.
Be careful about
- Being overly critical
- Disrespecting her work or her stuff
- Getting under her skin by trolling her
I feel your story indicates that you annoy her sometimes to make things convenient for you. This is annoying in general.
Did you have to adjust things in the car and say so? Just do it and do it without making a fuss. How do you feel about this?
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