Miserably Ever After?

" Marriage is a self-enforced prison in which two deluded cowards subsist on each other’s shit". -Michael Miller (couldn't have said it any better)

Marriage Isn’t A Happiness Enhancer

We love to get married, don’t we? Even if we never get it right. Even in a society where divorce is prevalent. Even if the odds are stacked against us. Even if there’s so much at stake. It will always be worth the try in our delusional human minds.
Sometimes it makes me wonder if we do it solely for the wedding day or for the
"lifetime" commitment that comes after.

What’s more is the kindness that two partners express toward each other on the day where they tie the knot. Ever noticed how each promise they make to one another is filled with loads of compassion, kindness and genuine admiration and respect? Everything that gets magically thrown down the drain a couple decades later. Isn’t ironic how life works? Or perhaps how we operate?

Marriage seems to have this irresistible appeal in our culture that makes so many venture into it without knowing what they really have signed themselves for. The fact is that it’s a very difficult endeavor to sustain, on top of navigating our jam packed to the max busy lives filled with kids, extracurricular activities, work, and all that fun-or-not-so-fun but necessary stuff.

What’s interesting to me is the fact that most married couples know on some level what it takes to improve the quality of their union. They know that they ought to be grateful and remind their partner of why they love them daily. They know that contempt and viciousness give the way to a divorce pass down the road. They know that keeping the spark alive – in the midst of life – takes work. They know that if they keep on giving all their time, love and kindness to their babies, one day they will wake up next to someone they’ve completely lost connection with.

I assume that most people know that putting their ego in the way of their relationship with their spouse is a dangerous trap to fall into. Yet paradoxically, inflated egos is what brings most of these issues to the surface in the first place.

Why do we want to win an argument instead of choosing peace within our marriage? Ego
Why do we don’t want to be the first one initiating positive changes within our relationship? Ego
Choosing a temporary moment of discomfort over our ego has the potential to turn our relationship around – yet we shut down this opportunity at every chance we get.

It’s comforting to mindlessly believe in fairy tales.
To think that we, perhaps, will be One against the statistics.
That we love each other too much to ever let this happen to our relationship.
But 10 years down the road, we get caught up on autopilot and the fast pace of life, distracted by our kids, and forget that when you don’t water a relationship, it dies.
Things spiraled downward because __________________ (fill in the blank) was more important to me than the vows I made to my spouse once upon a time.

Omg! @onceuponatime where you at? 😉