Death of a part of the Self

''The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness. '' -Lao Tzu

Why does making a part of our self die, or perhaps, our own ego, feels like we are physically dying?

Because as human beings, we are naturally wired to hang on so tightly to what is familiar.
These unhealthy coping mechanisms, these self-destructive thoughts, they love a good fight!
Once you become at war with them, they will not let you win.

We mistake the patterns we follow as our proper identity, and so we take comfort into seeing ourselves based on how we saw ourselves as children.
But what if we are harming ourselves in unconscious ways?
Self-inflicted wounds are all too familiar to me.

The thing is that we can’t change what we don’t acknowledge.
And to acknowledge our most ingrained behaviors, we need to be able to find the ways to connect to ourselves on a deeper level.
We need to open our heart to all of the uncomfortable emotions that will come to the surface.
We need to find the way to give to ourselves what we have not been given as children.
Whether that is through therapy, meditation, self-compassion, self-acceptance.
It is an absolute fallacy to think that we have to be tough on ourselves to stay on track.
It is crucial that we give ourselves the freedom to express our emotions.
We are only human, after all.

Growth is a never ending process, the work of a lifetime, and I pour my heart and soul into it every day.
Growing to me, also means to heal from every micro trauma we have carried to this date.
Because each one of them have shaped the human we have become.
And that is something extremely difficult to do, at least it was to me.
Leaving behind what you’ve held for truth your whole life until this point, is not easy, I’ll tell you that.
As children, we are the most vulnerable.
When we do not receive proper emotional needs, we are at great risk of developing unhealthy patterns and dysfunctional ways of behaving.
And you’d be surprised to find out how it is not necessarily that easy to notice these things.
Many human beings go on with their lives carrying some form of toxicity inside them, and either not being aware of it, or either not having the motivation, courage and persistence that is required to change.

Kinda feeling this one! 🔥

When I first started seeing clarity, I felt lost, almost as if it wasn’t normal.
What we see as normality, was seen as abnormal to my eyes, as I’ve spent most of my life hiding in the shadows of the dark.
My depression, my anxiety, my sadness, I didn’t think of them as illnesses.
I saw them as part of my identity, as who I am, and that I couldn’t be Sabrina without them.
Until I felt what spending a full day in complete peace of mind feels like.
I don’t want to go back.

This quote though…. Is everything! 🔮 💜💫