Attraction + Obstacle = Excitement

Humans have always been pack animals. And what do pack animals do? They hunt. They love a good chase. And thankfully we do because it has made us survive as a species.

In the dating scene, the attraction equation takes all of its importance. By nature, human beings are drawn to oxytocin inducing experiences a.k.a novelty a.k.a mystery. When these two bad boys fade away as years go by in a romantic relationship, many may come face to face with our unpleasant opponent, boredom. And while boredom can pave the way to fertilize our imagination, it can also make us become dangerously complacent.

When things are too easy, we get turned off. When things are too hard, we may want to give up. Attraction is that sweet balance in between too hard and too easy - it’s just the right dose of challenge for us to want to keep going. Long distance relationships is the perfect example to make sense of the attraction formula. Since most couples who are in LDR are away from each other the majority of the time, there is constantly that “obstacle” of not being with each other, to be overcome. And that is why when they finally do reunite, the excitement is tenfold.

The rush of happiness is immense because while the partners finally get to be with each other, the time during which they were apart is in itself a challenge that contributes to kindling the spark. Intermittent rewards are key to getting us hooked on something. I mean let’s face it, if you get the whole thing right away, you get rid of the thrill instantaneously. Novelty and mystery are like chocolate cake - you want it all now, but to make the pleasure last for as long as possible, you need to savor it slowly.