HOW IT ALL BEGAN Part 1

steam.erotic (52)in #life • 7 years ago (edited)

“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is [when I lost my virginity], and what [it] was like, and how [I felt and all before and after the deed], and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.”
Salinger, J. D.; Little, Brown and Company (1951). The catcher in the rye (semicit.)

I’m sorry if that sounded partially blasphemous to classic literature, but I’ve always loved The catcher in the rye ever since I read that incipit, and when I thought about how I should begin this post, it was the first thing that popped into my mind. It’s purpose is clear: I don’t want my title to be misleading. This post won’t be a long trip down memory lane, back to when my awareness of sex and sexuality first surface or to the (much later) time when it came to fruition through my first experience with sexual intercourse. Because it would frankly be a rather boring and quite common tale.

Suffice to say, it happened on February 1st and it was nice, with a boy I’d seen a total of two times in the span of three months and who ended up being my boyfriend for the next five years. Which already tells you at least one thing about me: either I never cared much about all the mythos surrounding female virginity or I’m really good at reading people and just knew that that one guy was in for the long run (and whee you’re 16 five years is a long run). Or both. One thing doesn’t really exclude the other.

But, as I said, this post is not about that. Because that relationship was as vanilla as it gets and never really got my panties particularly twisted, even though at the time I didn’t really have anything to compare it by and I enjoyed it well enough. Subsequent relationships and adventures were not much different and when I realized I was not getting everything I might have wished for, sexually, from my partners I began to wonder whether I couldn’t really choose them or if I just needed to learn to enjoy the ride as it came. Which sounds naughtily funny, once you spell it out that way.

_{Photo by Deric Tan, CC BY-SA 3.0}

This might be part of the problem. I never ran an actual survey on the matter, but I’m pretty sure the image above represents how I am generally perceived from the outside. Meaning that the majority of men that might be encouraged to make a move on me will, more or less consciously, be looking for that kind of intimate partner. Which, unfortunately, I’m not and don’t really wish to be.

First impressions might not be that far off the mark, though, since after taking the thorough and very interesting 16 Personalities Test a total of three times I ended up having always the same result. Apparently, I’m an ESTJ “Executive” personality, which, accurate as it reads, does give off rather strong “tough love” and “harsh teacher” vibes. I guess our first lesson in sexuality, then, is that behind closed doors not everything might be as it seems and your everyday persona might not accurately reflect your most private one.

_Pixabay

Now that’s more like it.

As further proof that one’s personality doesn’t necessarily dictate what turns them on in the sack, my results from the rather famous BDSMtest are much more telling.

98% Rope bunny
97% Brat
90% Submissive
87% Voyeur
80% Primal (Prey)
79% Boy/Girl
75% Pet
70% Exhibitionist
64% Masochist
62% Degradee
54% Slave
53% Experimentalist
42% Vanilla
27% Non-monogamist
25% Switch
5% Ageplayer
3% Daddy/Mommy
2% Primal (Hunter)
2% Brat tamer
1% Dominant
0% Rigger
0% Degrader
0% Owner
0% Master/Mistress
0% Sadist

If you’re not familiar with some or even most of these terms, don’t worry: we’ll get to that. But that 98% brat up there: that’s the ESTJ “little miss know-it-all” shining through. Not everything gets thrown out the window, once the bedroom’s doors close, I guess.

But how did I ever get to that? How did I even discover the acronym BDSM and end up taking a BDSM test? Well, as it often happens with us studious, methodical, and rational people, I read about it in a book.

And that’s what we’ll cover tomorrow, for our second part of my “coming-of-age” reveal.