Shine On You Crazy Diamond- Listening While Trying to Get My Life In Perspective
Life...
My past few months.
Lately I've been spending a lot of time here on Steemit. One of my only friends I have left brought me onto this site. Life has honestly been so up and down for me in the past few years. In this past year I've been to rehab twice, I simply can not use any drug successfully. Truth be told if drugs had no negative effects we would all use them 24/7 be it to cure pain, cure illnesses, or just to have "fun". The fact is they do have negative effects and some of us can not balance those negatives with positive in our lives.
My Pain...
So for the past 6 months now I have been on medications that manage my mental illness but today when I went to pick up my refills I was told that my health insurance has been canceled. I'm sure anyone who depends on medications can relate that going without them is not advisable at all. After getting off from street drugs and before I got on medicine for bi-polar I only slept ever other night. I would walk the streets of my town just trying to distract myself from the thought of going back to medicating myself with heroin as I used to. It was painful to be so lost and crashing hard after manic events but I know the pain that using drugs had caused me and swore to just go through whatever it took to stay clean.
My Cure
After getting in touch with a great service and seeing an art therapist we decided to try me on some different medications that I haven't taken before. I've tried many different treatments for my mental illness and all have failed until now. Today I have found a combination of therapy, self-help addiction meetings, and medications have made my life balanced.
What I Want To Overcome
Lately people that where in this fight with me have had to leave my life. A few people I called friends that were able to get past using drugs and be with me in my struggle to stay clean. Seems like only one is really trying to take the high road with me not high. My friend @stray. Others have fallen back into old ways and I've had to separate myself so I don't fall off also. So today I have just been reaching out and speaking but sometimes not as much as I should. Part of me is just honestly scared of going back to not having control of my thoughts. My mental illness is sometimes stronger than my own willpower. Since I've found out that my health insurance has been canceled I have just decided to stay strong and work on a solution.
Living In The Solution Not In Fear!
My anxiety, fear, and anger are my worst enemies. So upon getting some bad news I immediately decided not to get negative and to just focus on what is going to make things right. Have those feelings about my situation are only going to stall my success. I shall stay vigilant and know I must enjoy the fact that I have the gift of life today. No matter how bad it gets thinking bad will only make it worse.
Thanks For Any Support
I'd just like to throw out a few shout outs to those in my new Steemit family that have given me hope and inspiration. @stray thank you for bring me into Steemit and accepting me back into your life. @fyrstikken Thank you for keeping up with SteemSpeak on Discord. I never have to be alone I can always go there and listen in on some other crazy fucks and intelligent conversations. @klye Thanks for steemit.global giving me a little publicity on SteemSpeak and for being a cool coding guy to chat with and gain inspiration from. Also to the rest of Steemit just for being here for good content and some upvotes.
Goodnight All and Remember Stay Positive....
Feel free to email me at [email protected]
journel
Thank you, I consider you a good friend Besner, I want you to overcome all your issues in life just like i struggle with my own. lets try to get rich from Steemit and start our own business, or just escape NY.
Thanks. We will get rich and we can bring our families to the moon if we want!!!
I am sorry to hear about this. To get the medication you need, do you also need an appointment or just the RX? Let's make it happen.
Actually I called my health insurance today all I need to do is stop at this office and confirm my address and other things turns out I have to do that once a year in November. I have 2 days worth of my meds so everything will work out just fine. My doctors all cool with my insurance lapsing just have to get it fixed.