the awesome adventures of the little Spaingaroo, when he was just a joey.

A golden child is remembered fondly by the mother.

"you were a wonderful child"

she said to me one day a while back.

I pressed her on it recently, in one of our skype calls.
(well I use Skype to call her phone. She answers there)

"a little hard to potty train, but otherwise a pretty good child"

I felt like I was losing ground pretty rapidly. I thought about bailing out before she really started think too hard about it.

"until you went to university"

Yes, it was time to be out of this one.

'Cause I remember setting fires and pelting cars with berries. I mean to say, If you have a hard berry tree at the top of a cliff with a street below, what else could one do. Can't fight human nature

https://goo.gl/maps/w9yixEBnUvw

still there too, but funny how much smaller that cliff looks to these eyes forty years later.

(I'm glad the go-cart hill still looks like it has some slope.

https://goo.gl/maps/zS6RHhHp4EH2

Seemed like alpe d'huez to me back then.)

I was always up in trees, often getting myself further up than I was really game, and really having to dig deep into my reserves of terror tolerance to get back to terra firma.

I remember making bolt bombs, from nuts and bolts and match heads. I would be arrested for terrorism these days!

I dropped a particularly large example from a huge tree (going to have to see if it is still huge; it is, or they are, still big enough. https://goo.gl/maps/pRsX1SATzf92)

The bolt fell true, didn't lean off the vertical at all and when it struck the concrete pad below exploded with a very satisfying boom, even as the upper bolt came arcing back past my relatively surprised face, missing me by less than it's own length.

:horror:

One of the tens (hundreds?, tens of hundreds?) times that I was let off with a warning by my guardian angel, even though I was too stupid to deserve it really.

Something has been looking after me, 'cause here I am with all my fingers and toes.

I am one of the smartest people I have ever met.

I am also one of the dumbest fucks to ever walk the surface of this planet.

It depends on how you are defining intelligence.

I got the top marks in most every class, from the start of my Australian State School education, to the end.

And that was with moving every couple of years. I went to five schools and it was only so few because I did all my high school years at the one place.

But I am getting ahead of myself.

We were joining the happy family at the birth of yours truly, the actual moment the universe began.

The fateful moment takes place at the Mt Isa base hospital, late in the morning of a fine day in March of the year of their lord 1966.

Don't know fuck all about it actually.
Though I can surmise that it must have gone off well.
I seem to recall that some story is told, but I can't place it right now.

I did die before I was one

which may come as a surprise to the reader.

That story is as follows, and although I hardly ever think about it, and certainly have no direct memory of it, it surely sets the scene for the rest of my adventure here.

My esteemed father was the designated care giver. I have no idea why?
I'll have to ask, but last time I tried to talk with him about this story, I got a bit of resistance, so who knows.

But for whatever reason he was in charge of the infant who was surely destined for greatness, or at least to be here writing this on Steemit in 2017.
He had to pick a friend (or someone standing in for a friend) up from the airport.
When he went into the terminal he left our tiny hero in the car.

I don't even know what kind of car it was.
It may have been the Volkswagen beetle that I knew later, or it may have been an earlier one.
I think it is safe to ignore this aspect of the story.
The upshot is, this is Mt Isa in outback Queensland, and even back in 66 shit happens.

I have always had the story in my head that Neil and the friend stopped to have a quick beer before heading back to the car.
I don't know if this is the true reason or it was more mundane, but whatever the reason, they took their time.
When they got back to the car they found my tiny body in advanced state of heat exhaustion with cardiac arrest.

Don't leave your dogs in the car people.
Don't leave your infant children either.

As luck would have it, the Royal Flying Doctor Service was there. Now retelling this I realise that I always had the story in my head as them flying me to the hospital. That can't be correct. from the airport? where would they land?

They must have just been on hand and could take care of the resuscitation efforts while I was rushed to the hospital in a land based conveyance. Read Car.

They must have been successful, 'cause next thing I know, here I am.

After they got my core temperature back down into the range compatible with life, I suppose the recriminations began.
Something went wrong, and I reckon it must have been this.

I think my father never really forgave himself and probably my mother didn't find it easy either. If my young father was like I was at that age, she was probably getting burned pretty well already.

Earth is forgiveness school, but it ain't easy being green. just ask Kermit.

Have I forgiven him? now there's a question.

Thanks anyone who has read this far. If you would like me to keep going with this serialisation, please let me know.

big hugs