I think you are on to something really important. No one else gets to define for us who we are. When we use words like "spiritual," no other person gets to say what that means for us, only what it means for them. Likewise, we don't get to say what it means for them.
There's a folk singer from the US who died a few years ago, Utah Phillips. In one of his story songs he talks about being at the store with his tween daughter when he apparently did something that embarrassed her. She hissed at him, "why can't you be normal?!" They were with an old friend of his who was in her 80's, and she hit the girl in the shin with her cane and said, "He is normal! What you meant to say is average." It's an important distinction. Normal is a judgement. Average is math, even when applied to social situations.