A Certain Root of Happiness

Aah, to be happy, certainly a most sought after state.
I get a lot (some) comments on that I'm regularly cheerful, smiling, happy, bright.
Not to say that that's not true, but rather to maybe highlight some of my own perceptions.
There's dents, scars, jagged edges to my psyche which makes it a volatile process.
Maybe, just maybe, the reason why a lot of people are unhappy because they lack time to work on themselves. Our lives are spent in bubbles miring the micro we forget all about the macro.
Look at people that work a lot (although highly individual , let's say over 40 hours a week), I've seen plenty, I see occasional joy. I don't see profound happiness. Unless your hobby/passion is your job.
Not to say it can't happen, but without a little you time, how will it?

I feel my happiness comes from going through my darkness. If we'd name it that, do you prefer something less poetic? Perhaps we can say my challenges, but how tedious to use that word.
It's not just coming eye to eye with things I'm not proud of or I can't stand about myself, but rather facilitating awareness towards them. There's been a lot of certain things popping up I wasn't aware of before and then the general habitual conditioning to follow after that. Now more awareness starts seeping in.

“There's a wonderful meditation that the southern Buddhists practice that I call The House that Jack Built Meditation. You walk and say to yourself,
There is perception of lifting of the foot,” and then, “There is a tendency toward the perception of the feeling of the lifting of the foot,” and finally, “There is a consciousness of the tendency of the perception of the feeling of the lifting of the foot.”

• Alan Watts

When we couple action to that awareness, aaaaah, can you smell it? There's a certain something there, isn't there? Every time I behave differently, sub miss a thought , alter a conditioned pattern, I feel lighter. Unburdened , unencumbered, lighter. And if we shed more shadow from our psyche we transmit more light. Isn't that what we say to people: you looks so bright, you shine like the sun, you glow. But we need the time by our selves. Sit, stand, lie, walk, run, whatever. To cross the threshold is good, but staying in the entry way isn't optimal.

There's a shadow just behind me,
Shrouding every step I take,
Making every promise empty,
Pointing every finger at me.

• TOOL

So perhaps in that regard happiness is a choice, it's something you choose to work on. The word work also feels so stale to me in this context and seemingly discourages people. BUT I'M LIKE WORKING ALL DAY?! NOW I GOTTA WORK ON MYSELF TOO?! A tired person doesn't wanna work more right? Happiness is an active thing, until perhaps you elevate yourself to it being a passive skill. So maybe instead of working on yourself, let's call it being active with yourself? I'm largely uninterested in telling you what to do, I'm more interested in not being bogged down. The notion that I might react, think, or feel about certain things the same way forever is smothering. Why would anyone wish for that? There's probably more to happiness than just working through our issues, but if you are plagued, then how can you be truly happy?

Every day there's an opportunity to be happy, or at the very least: to be content.