#8 My battle with perception of beauty

in life •  last year

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Dear steemit friends, beauty is so subjective and yet we seem to have a general agreed upon standards of beauty everywhere. In Nepal, like many Asian countries, one of the most important attribute of beauty is having a fair skin. It is really ironic as we Nepali people are brown to begin with, but like most things in life, we like things that we do not have. So, as a dark brown person, I have had to go through a long journey to feel comfortable in my skin.

Let me start with an example which can best illustrate my point. My mum is quite a lighter shade of brown. She is remarried to someone who is also light toned, so obviously my half brother also inherited the same genes and has a lovely skin tone. So one day, I was helping my mum in her garden and some old friend of my mum's happened to pass us by. They had not seen each other for a long time, so she did not know what all had happened in my mum's life. 

They shared their happiness to finally see each other. Then this lady looks at me and tells my mum," I see you have a maid. Is she any good?" My mum then asked her why would she assume that. And she said, well, I just did not see the resemblance. Ok, I could have lived with that. But after an hour or so, (when she has heard that I look like my dad and so I got his complexion), she tells me how sorry she is that I have his skin color. Imagine being 10-12 years old and someone feels sorry for you that you have a certain skin tone.

And this is just one of many many examples from my childhood. Our advertisements are filled with whitening creams. One of the most renowned brand is called "Fair and Lovely" which basically tells you that if you ever want to be a strong, independent, beautiful and successful woman, you need to be fair. 

It took me a lot of years to realize that beauty is not defined by a lighter shade of skin, and beauty is not at all the most important aspect of someone. But the struggle was real. And its funny, now that I live in the western world, people love my color. They are always complementing my brown legs. 

I wonder if there are more people who have still not found the confidence to be awesome in their own skin. So if any of you ever feel like that, just remember that you are liked and loved for who you are as a person. Confidence makes you sexy. You are you, and there is no one else like you ( I know its cheesy but it is true.) If you all have similar experiences, do share them with me.

Do not forget to follow me @sijuka

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Well said. Great post!

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Thank you billys!