Felt ill, slowly getting back to grinding in the gym! + Chasing what I ACTUALLY WANT in life.
My aim in life is pretty simple. I realise that I do not want to be part of the rat race and want to start my own business after saving up and making smart investment. Or atleast that is the plan. Through this, I want to develop myself, my weaknesses, I want to better understand myself and strive to be in a position of where I want to see myself in, not where other's want me to be in.
I am studying a Master's degree in Mechanical Engineering, after doing this for the first few years chasing a bachelors, I realised that although I do like engineering to a certain extend, I do not want to do engineering. I do not do not do not do not want it. I hate this degree, and I am starting to realise how much am I living for others and not for myself. I started to do this degree because of family pressure where my parents wanted me to do this.
I am looking to finish the masters even though I hate it. I feel that its only few months left and I guess, it is hard to also step outside of what others want when I guess most of us have been in. Beginning of the year, I told myself that I will eb chasing what I want and live life how I want right after I finish my degree. So Just dropping out of Master's right now seems a bit weird, as I want to finish what I set out to do. I guess this is what happens when you have obtained other people's expectations on your dreams and goals.
Being in the gym was one of my mental therapeutic time for me, it gives me a sense of discipline. As I progress in weights or repetition of a certain exercise, I get a sense of progressing and self confidence in my ability arises from this. It has made me somewhat free from the depression that I was going through. I still go through it, I can manage very tough times better. I am improving.
Recently I felt ill. I did a few all-nighters and felt like rubbish. Realising how much I hate my degree. Getting back to the gym and trying to get stronger at it. My max lift numbers are not good at all but here it is:
Squat 80kg/176 lbs x 2
Bench 65kg/143 lbs x1
Pendlay rows 57.5kg x 4
Standing Press (closer grip) 52.5kg/115lbs x 1
Deadlift 110kg x 1
With all the assignment stress, before my Exams in April, I want my numbers to be:
Squat 90kg x 3
Bench 72.5kg x 3
Pendlay rows 70kg x 5
Standing Press 60kg x 3
Deadlift 125kg x 3.
Lets see how it goes. And, with it, lets see how life goes.
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