Struggle is real :-D

shirleynpenalosa (63)in #life • 7 years ago (edited)

I have been "invisible" for quite a while since we came home from the hospital last week and I've been wondering how to go back, to be "visible" again. I can't judge and I don't want to do it, as much as possible, I avoid it because I do not want to be judged back. I am just in a very difficult situation right now that I want to go on but how? Maybe I am just feeling paranoid about it. My mind is too full of both negative and positive thoughts about almost everything I see and think. That makes me so weird and too difficult to understand. I don't even know where this post is going and coming from.

I am really struggling now, and I don't know how to go about it. I haven't reviewed for my exams and I haven't even read our previous assignments. I am also in a dilemma of going to the extent of giving up something I have held on to for more than ten (10) long years now, in order to restore something that was broken before. I really don't know yet. And yes, I've been praying about it too. I still need confirmation from godly friends and relatives, and I also need to ask for the godly counsel of the elders.

As of this writing, one good friend of mine told me to hang on and not give up yet. Well, not just yet. But myself, my inner self keeps telling me to give it a shot. Try giving it up this year and be just excited about what God is going to do with my life. That idea is very uplifting and knowing that God is in control and He is still on the Throne of Grace, I know full well that I can be still and know that He is God.

I just want to give back and keep giving back as long as I can. The process is hard and I feel like I have to wait forever to be able to give back. I love you all and I want to be there for all of you as long as I can and as long as God allows me to. I am praying that you will understand my predicament. This will not take forever, my steemit family. I know this is just a phase, it will soon pass. I am excited to bounce back for all of you. Remember, God is good, all the time. ❤️ And all the time, God is good. ❤️

I am @sashley a.k.a. shirleynpenalosa, a recipient of God's love, mercy and grace. ❤️

I am forever grateful to God every day of my life for giving me everything that I need and praise Him all the more for not giving me everything I want. To God be all the honor, praise and glory ❤️ :-)

Thank you for your time in reading my post. God bless us all. :-)

@surpassinggoogle is such a generous person and has a very big heart for all of us here. Please support him as a witness by voting him at https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" at the first search box.

(Photo credits: from sir @surpassinggoogle's post footer)
https://steemit-production-imageproxy-thumbnail.s3.amazonaws.com/U5dtEYRKn7Z5yBXRTuWBtuwVT3Moixp_1680x8400

If you want to give him witness voting decisions on your behalf, visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses again and type in "surpassinggoogle" in the second box as a proxy.

@paradise-found is a wonderful person, a very humble and generous encourager, let us also support him by voting and typing in "gratefulvibes" at the search box

(Photo credits: mam @sunnylife)