Secrecy is the exact opposite of Intimacy

shirleynpenalosa (63)in #life • 6 years ago (edited)

I have been into a very deep thought since yesterday and I haven't made any post yet. Not until I remembered one simple but powerful and striking statement (at least for me) which led me to write this article and I have decided to make that as the title of my entry for today.

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I also think that it is but proper to include some definition of words in this post, so that we will all learn together and know where this post is coming from and where it will lead us all.

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Now we've seen and read the definitions of each main term in the title of this post. I would just like to point this out that this is so true, not only in a husband-and-wife relationship, but to all kinds of relationship there is in this world. But for now, I would just want to share my own personal point of view regarding the truthfulness of this statement in a husband-and-wife relationship.

I know and I must admit that I myself is not an expert when it comes to resolving conflicts within marriage or in a broken relationship, neither in restoring the same. But being married for almost more than a decade already, I can honestly share with you how secrecy destroys intimacy in your marriage.

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When one of the spouses begins to keep secrets from the other, that's the time that the one being secretive will also start telling lies, then before you know it, that lying spouse will eventually end up cheating his or her spouse. It will always start with little things, like white lies, brown lies, red lies no matter what color, it is still a LIE. And no matter how simple or small that secret is, it is still a secret and you are not telling it to your spouse. You are not being honest and open to your spouse. You are beginning to think a lot of alibis just to decline your spouse's simple request. Then eventually when this becomes a habit already, you will start to act strange towards your spouse. You begin to neglect your spouse, forget your role and your intimacy will eventually suffer.

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And when you are no longer intimate, both will become self-centered and prideful, and both wanted to win in every argument over preserving the relationship, then it will always lead to one of you ending up wounded and hurt more than the other. What then is the reason why some, in spite of being married and happy for the time up to this writing, will still have the urge to keep secrets from one another? There will come a time in all of us or some of us married people will have to fight or try hard to keep up with the annoying personality quirks of our spouse, poor communication that will definitely lead to poor intimacy. Some reasons will rise too, as mismatched priorities and busyness that fire off the romance. Others have reasoned out to be the neglected roles and unmet longings that lead to the slowly but surely, death of the desire to stay faithful to our wedding vows.

Yes, a little secret will do, you don't need to tell your spouse everything as in everything. But the Bible is always clear and precise in defining the role of a husband and a wife. As it is written in Colossians 3:18-19 (New Living Translation)
"18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly."
Please excuse me, I do not mean to sound preachy here.

These are commands from God and we as His children should obey and honor Him. While it is true that there is no such thing as blind submission, but there are sure consequences for our disobedience to God. If we want to maintain our intimacy with our spouses, let us not keep secrets from them. Let us always be true and honest with them. And let us always pray for our spouses.

For some who personally knew me, who are already active on this platform, I really do not know how you are going to react to this post, but believe me when I tell you that I am still a work in progress. I believe God is not yet through with me. :-) But I am not making this as an excuse of not doing my part. As I always heard from friends especially when they're reminding me that "motion first before emotion". Yes, it is impossible for me to obey this particular command of the Lord 100% wholeheartedly, but by His grace, I know I will be there soon and very soon. :-) ❤️

Thank you for your time & God bless us all :-)

I am @sashley a.k.a. shirleynpenalosa, a recipient of God's love, mercy and grace. ❤️

I am forever grateful to God every day of my life for giving me everything that I need and praise Him all the more for not giving me everything I want. To God be all the honor, praise and glory ❤️ :-)

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