Oops! Here I go again, talking about every struggle human beings go through including yours truly. Yep, I've been into a lot of life's drama lately and as human as I am, I somehow find it difficult to talk about sensitive things (we all do) as I know it will turn myself into a crying damsel. Ha! It's alright, I'm going to write about it anyway, releasing some tensions.
L-I-F-E! What does it really mean to have one? How does one have a choice not to be born? How does living in this world become fair? No one really has the exact idea of "what and how" isn't it? Life as they say, is viewed in too many aspects. Too complicated to understand? You be the judge.
There are times in our life that we really have to step on the different rides of adversity. Life's adversity! It has its own weight and scale and getting out of it depends on how one jumps off the situation, from one ride going to another or simply how resilient the person is.
But what about if you've been on-boarding the same ride over and over again? Regardless of how many times you've jump off from one and hopped into another ride, the same situation happens. Will you still ever have the strength to go and try for another jump? If these rides keep letting you down, hurting you, disappointing you in the same manner, will you still allow it to continue? How can one have the same ride over and over again by the way?
Life is indeed not fair! I've been into a lot of rides over the years and yet I can't seem to find the ride that brings tranquility, one that gives me comfort and ease while in it. I am not asking for a luxury ride, just the one that no matter how it goes in circle, zigzag and rough turns it take it won't ever get me dizzy and tired. Because I thought that is supposed to be what life is all about? A roller coaster, up and down kind of ride and yet rewarding as it manages to put a smile on your face after. But how come it's being so difficult to me?
My life has been indeed a roller coaster ride and yet that's it, never felt the rewarding part. It's just one of the saddest things a person can have in life, the feeling of hopelessness. Because no matter how strong or brave you are, if you are carrying a lot of heavy loads in your journey for the longest time, you'll get weaker and weaker that in time you will lose your strength and eventually give up. But can "giving up" be done easily? Can one just say NO to LIFE and leave? Ironic how one can't have much choice in this life he has never chosen to live, right? A world he has not chosen to be born into and a humanity he did not choose to be part of.
Now I'm wondering, for how long will I still have to hold on and stay in the same ride I've been wanting to abandon? For how long will I still have to wait and find the ride I've long been wanting to hop into? When will all of these end? I still believe everything has its purpose but I'm almost losing my fortitude, my strength. The only last thing I'm praying not to leave my cage, for then, everything will be laid to rest with a lifeless soul. Perhaps, that's fair enough?
If only I had the choice not to live in this world full of prejudice; If only life is being fair; If only...
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