Too shy

I never went into a relationship until I got into college, it was all fun that I desired to learn whatever I could and also stand out as my other friends. I have always imagined how it is like to kiss a girl, the feelings and the possible effect , finally going into a relationship seems like the best time to find it out myself but my major problem was my shy nature, it couldn't allow me express myself like I wanted and this made it all worst for me to know I was in a relationship with a shy girl who expect that I take the lead. I kept my burning desire to myself and she did too ,until it came to a point that she couldn't hold it any longer and she let it out, and we decided to have our first kiss.

I tried to capture every moment of it but it wasn't as good as I have assumed it was, though with time it kept getting better and we involved in more of kissing, but then I needed more, I have heard people talk about how sex is pleasurable and I wanted to know exactly how it was but we were both virgin , we had no experience. Most times am halt when I try to take my hands into her pants and it became a worry, she did not want to be disvirgin yet and my shy nature did not give me chance to convince her into what she wanted but doesn't know how to let it happen without feeling too cheap. We engaged in more of the kissing and romance, but we made no love, this continued until we both graduated from school.

Source

Our communication never ended, in one of our chat, she let out how she wish I could make love to her and be the first. somehow we shared our minds on chat freely with no signs of shy attitude , we agreed to try it when next she comes and she fixed a date for that. The day finally arrived and here I was with her on the bed unable to do anything, thesame with her. The stress from her journey was a problem to making my dream desire coming to pass. We all went to take our bath and dressed for the night, we had a little chat about her journey and the next thing she was turning her back at me to get some sleep " what the fuck" I thought, " this was the night we were suppose to be making out and she's planning to sleep." I knew if I don't do anything this night, I will not have another chance since she was planning to travel home the following day. I drew her closer to me and started massaging her body , in few minutes her eyes became open and we proceeded into kissing each other and cuddling of her breast, this kept on for a while , then she held my dick and started massaging and jerking it . I tried proceeding to pulling her clothes but she held my hands and asked me not to, when I was thinking this was my breakthrough day only to be stopped half way. The kissing and folding of breast and she, my dick continued a little while before she demanded that we stop.

"I thought you said you have a new style to treat me tonight" she said . " Yes, but only if you allow me do whatever I wish with you" I replied. "Alright, go on" she said " but then fear entered me that I was unable to touch her further, I only stayed on the bed looking at her like someone who's lost and now is found. "Allow me go to bed" she said , as she covered her blanket and slept off.

We woke up that morning with another round of kissing and cuddling but it resulted to nothing, I felt bad that once again I am a virgin and Haven't gotten a taste of what the world celebrate. I don't know how she felt, I wish I did. Maybe my shy attitude didn't allow me do what I was suppose to do right or my attitude had no correlation with what I wanted. Shy me, I lost another chance .