Intolerance is fear of the unknown.

in #life7 years ago

"Gay people should all be taken out and shot,” I said. I was 16 and knew everything. Today one of my closest friends is gay, and I cringe to think of what I said 20 years ago. But those words actually came out of my mouth.

I didn’t hate gay people. You can’t hate someone you’ve never met, and I’d never met a gay person. What I hated was the idea of gay people. Homosexuality was scary. I hated it because I didn’t understand it.

I’d grown up in a fundamentalist Christian environment. Sex was for procreation and homosexuals couldn’t procreate. Well, of course they could, but not by having sex with each other.

We weren’t taught to hate them, we were taught that they needed Jesus. But I took it further because I was afraid of contamination. Catching the gay.

I didn’t understand.

We’ve progressed since then. We have gay marriage in some countries. Some of us are proud supporters.

Some of us still want them all shot.

Why? What drives such extreme attitudes?

Fear of the unknown.

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You and I know that there’s no more difference between a homosexual and a heterosexual than between a short person and a tall person. Less even, since there’s no visual difference. But I didn’t always know this. Maybe you didn’t either. Some people still don’t.

I first knowingly met a gay person at the age of 19. A random conversation on the street with a perfect stranger. We were both walking the same direction and started talking. Interesting guy. Nice guy. It came out later in our conversation that he was gay.

Did I run screaming down the street in terror? Did I back away slowly, keeping a close on eye on his hands? Did I feel fear? Revulsion? Hatred?

No. None of those things. I was a bit wary, wondering whether he was interested in me in that way. But the damage of getting to know him a bit was already done. There was no going back. He was an interesting, likeable, normal person. And I couldn’t forget that. I couldn’t unlearn it.

Now that I’d met a gay person, they were no longer scary and unknown. I still believed they needed Jesus and I still believed homosexuality was unnatural. It would be another 5-6 years before I changed my opinion on that. But the hate was gone. The intolerance was gone.

Fear isn’t the only reason for intolerance. But it’s a big one. People with bigoted, xenophobic, or intolerant attitudes tend to have small social circles and a narrow range of experiences.

If you travel the world or mingle with people of different ethnicities, cultural backgrounds, sexual preferences, political viewpoints, religious beliefs, and life philosophies, it’s difficult to hold onto such attitudes.

The more you get away from your comfort zone, the more you discover that most people in the world think differently than you do. Taking the next step and realizing their value as people may not be immediate, but once they start earning your respect and becoming your friends, it’s almost inevitable.

Most of us are holding on to a few intolerances or misunderstandings that we may not even recognize. Why not reach out today and talk to someone from outside your circle?

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Great to see topics like this on Steemit.

I think you are spot on about fear. But what is that fear of?? More than just fear of the unknown, I think this has a lot to do with fear of our own identities being challenged, our own values brought into question.

We get so attached to our beliefs and our values, that we can sometimes mistake them for parts of ourselves. Letting go of long held beliefs can sometimes feel like a bit of yourself is dying.

Who am I now that I'm no longer a vegetarian?! Am I even Jason?? Who am I if I change my political affiliation? Who am I if literally every piece of me can be changed? It's hard for the ego to stomach the implications.

I agree with this completely. Fear of changing your identity, fear of your beliefs and values being wrong, etc are very powerful. I would, however, suggest that these things all fall under the umbrella of fear of the unknown. Who are you if you change your identity? That's an unknown. What happens if your beliefs and values are wrong? What changes will that bring? What should you believe instead? Unknowns. It's scary.

This is why conservative religion is so powerful. It gives you a set of concrete values to subscribe to, to hold on to, so you don't need to ask difficult questions with unknown answers.

This is why conservative religion is so powerful. It gives you a set of concrete values to subscribe to, to hold on to, so you don't need to ask difficult questions with unknown answers.

And at the same time - having a certain amount of structure and certainty is what allows us to act and achieve.

True!

You are absolutely right, and there's plenty of peer-reviewed research to back this up.

Yale University recently did an experiment where they were able to turn conservatives into liberals (temporarily), by making them feel safe and secure.

I don't think it's purely fear of the unknown - it's more so the fear of what harm that the unknown may do to you.

South Park sums it up perfectly:

Yale University recently did an experiment where they were able to turn conservatives into liberals (temporarily), by making them feel safe and secure.

Be careful with how you interpret that. Sometimes a feeling of safety is a false sense of safety. From a liberal perspective conservatives might be paranoid, but from a conservative standpoint, liberals might be complacent and/or weak. It is incredibly important to have a balance in society, which is probably why we evolved genetic tendencies that lead us to an overall balance of conservative and liberal ideologies.

I agree with everything you say here, however it only serves to reinforce my interpretation of the study, especially since there have been countless studies demonstrating the opposite: if you scare a liberal, you can make them more conservative.

Conservative paranoia and liberal complacency are fairly extreme applications of the two opposing ideologies. The only more extreme application is the belief that the other side is stupid, which is just plain incorrect. Sadly, in the last 15-20 years, these extreme applications have become far more commonplace, among voters and politicians alike.

At the end of the day, liberalism and conservatism are both trying to achieve the same goal: improving our quality of life. Neither are inherently good or evil, right or wrong, intelligent or stupid. The only thing that truly differs between is the point of reference. The essence of liberalism is progress and change, which liberals believe will make the world a better place. The essence of conservatism is exercising caution and protecting what we already have, which conservatives believe will make the world a better place. And so, when either side sees the other side directly counteracting everything that they are trying to achieve, the easiest way to deal with this from an emotional standpoint is to paint them as either stupid or evil.

"Wisdom lies neither in fixity nor in change, but in the dialogue between the two."
-- Octavio Paz

Since 1900, human population has exploded. It took over a thousand years for the world's human population to grow from 0.5 billion to 1.5 billion. It has taken a hundred years for it to increase another 5-fold, to 7.5 billion. This means that humans are slowly becoming masters of their environment. It's easy now to think of humans as the master race, because that's the world we were born into, but it was only 150 years ago that our quality of life, and general survivability, were quite poor.

Nowadays, with our increased standing in the world, we have far fewer things to be genuinely cautious about, which has seen the rise and rise of liberalism. Liberals are slowly winning. 20 years ago, it was still illegal to be gay in one state of Australia. Now we have legalised gay marriage in every state. In an even more extreme example, Germany has gone from exterminating everyone that didn't fit their idea of a superior Nordic race, to becoming the world's leading light in international aid and goodwill.

Maybe in the future, there will be some kind of apocalypse or something else that drastically affects human quality of life, and conservatism will, by necessity, come to the fore once again. I think the key point is that, on the pyramid of human needs, safety is the second most important level. Once that safety is assured (more or less), then we have the freedom to pursue more fulfilling needs, and that's where liberalism steps in.

Psychology

Much like @shawndove, I began life with quite conservative values, partly because I had a very fucked up childhood. Over time, as I have had more life experiences, I have become much, much more liberal. But that doesn't mean I don't still have fears. Of course I do. But they generally aren't fears about other people being evil people or trying to harm me or whatever. They generally aren't (although occasionally are) strong enough to limit the choices I make in life. My brother, on the other hand, is conservative as hell. That doesn't mean he's a bad person. He's just had a much narrower range of life experiences than me, despite being 5 years my senior, so his perspective of the world is much more limited and therefore fear-driven.

This ended up being a lot longer than I had originally intended. Hahahaha. I hope you enjoy it!

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Fascinating study, thank you! And yes, I agree. It's not the unknown itself that is scary, but what possible negative effects it could have. Just like fear of the dark. We aren't afraid of the darkness itself, but what dangerous things might be hiding there that we can't see.

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