Learning to be the Hero of my own Story

Yester-night, I listened to my 19 year little brother finding it hard to accept that the people who he thought would always come through for him disappoint him.

A little background information: we were raised by a single mother who loved us fiercely, provided for us in every way, put our needs before hers, protected us fiercely and who sadly died last year after a short illness. I had just turned 22, my little brother was 2 months shy off 18 and in his final year in high school. Her death left us hurt, alone and confused but despite all that, he passed his final exam, secured a place in a good university (he studies Bsc Computer Security and Forensics) and I graduated with a B.A Degree in Economics and Sociology.

My little bro arrived home this week for a 4 months holiday and being smart as he is, he has secured an internship in a Tech Company at the capital. He needs a place to crush for a couple of weeks during the internship so logically, he started making calls to people he knows there. As you can probably guess, he got either negative feedbacks or no answers or no call backs and text backs. This is excruciating and difficult for his young mind to accept and that is probably why he kept reassuring himself that they will come through for him. This of course means I am caught between the rock and hard place of whether to tell him the truth about how most people are or letting him learn it himself and praying that he has the strength to handle whatever he learns.

It has been a year and seven months since we lost our mother and in the ambiguously short and long time, I have matured a lot, learned a ton and wisened up a few years.

I have learned that some people are very big-mouthed at making promises and tight-fisted when it comes to delivering them while others don’t make them but surprise you when you least expect them. I have learned to just smile beautifully when someone makes a promise and how not to take it at heart as that leads to disappointments. In the same spirit, I shut my mouth when I am about to make to promise and only act when I can as un-kept promises lead to pain and resentment.

As much as no man is an island, we don’t need people to succeed. Who we need is God; to fully trust and hope in Him. What we need is to know that people are not reliable. That we can’t depend on them and if we do, we get hurt which might lead to hatred. That is not heathy now, is it? That the only person on this earth I can really depend on is myself. That constant self-improvement and resilience is what leads to success.

Everybody is busy living their lives and jumping and stumbling over their own hurdles and that is probably why they are unreliable. Therefore we can’t hold it against them. Hypothetically, if this person is your grandfather or a very close relative, you have to cut ties with them to save your precious little big heart from their toxicity *wink wink. Nobody owes me anything except those who owe me money or my novel back.

I have learned to be my own strength, my own hero, to be my knight in shining armor, to stand up for myself, to be my own happiness and to be my absolute BEST SELF.

Keeping that in mind is freeing, peaceful and opens greater paths to success.