Building Self-Esteemit!

Hello steemit. This site really has created a great community and I'm so excited to be a part of it...

At times in life I've found myself becoming stuck in some very familiar ruts. Fighting depression and anxiety most of my teenages years I turned to comfort eating. This would be followed by three days of starvation due to hating the fact I over ate in the first place. At no point I would say I was largely overweight however at times I did carry enough weight to leave me no longer wanting to be seen in public and hating myself to some pretty sad extremes. No matter where I went I felt everyone was looking at me. Every window and mirror I happened to see my reflection in I'd get this overwhelming feeling of disgust in myself, leaving me so upset I wanted to instantly return home. Due to this I often avoided my reflection and would often be found keeping my eyes towards to ground whenever going anywhere.

One day I decided it was enough of this overeating, followed by the unhealthy starvation that I took an interest in stopping the cycle and making a change with body building. Although I did not have any miraculous plans at becoming a body builder myself, my partner at the time had a great interest in the training invovled and diet needed for this particular type of training.

I was too embaressed to take a photo within the first month but this photo was after losing almost 5 kilos within the first 6 weeks!

Now I know it can at times be just as unhealthy going to the opposite extreme when it comes to our weight but lucky for me I managed to fit gym into my life rather comfortably. When it came to the food prep I'd find myself in the kitchens one evening each weekend to prepare my meals for the coming week.  The diet which felt overly daunting to begin with became something I generally took a liking to. It all comes down to carefully thought out numbers - which is another love of mine.

Food preperation on a Sunday - after adding a few more ingrediants it was amazing! 

It was at times hard to stay focused on the long term goal as I very slowly lost kilo by kilo. To my shock though it was within only two weeks I began noticing some unexpected changes. Although my weight had actually increased by 1 kilo I noticed I was full of energy, my skin looked far healthier and my general mood began to uplift. I felt stronger and I was beginning to regain some confidence. Funnily enough that confidence led me to the shops... to make a malteser cake. Can you really blame me? I mean look at the end result..

Although I did cave to the delicious idea of a chocolate and cream filled malteser goodness what really shocked me was how I went about purchasing all the ingrediants needed for the recipe. Yep, that's right I WALKED!! It took me 30 minutes each way along a main road and oh boy did I walk with confidence and some sass. It was only two weeks earlier where I would find myself slowly filling up with hate towards myself whenever in public and now I was excited to walk to the shops AND BACK holding all my cake ingrediants. I'm still unsure if this event was fueled by regaining some confidence or my general love of cake..

My skin quickly started clearing up and became so clear.

Anyhow my weight since has fluctuated up and down but it has never again gotten to the point I've hated my entire existence again - yes that sounds pretty dramatic but it is very much so how it would lead me to feel at times. If I've ever felt like I'm beginning to get back into my bad old habits I now know exactly what steps I need to take to begin adjusting my lifestyle ever so slightly to make yet again this massive difference.

One of my many dinner options - they all tasted delicious!

The goal at the beginning seemed so hard and not worth sticking with but the end results which I began noticing within less then 14 days made it so worth it. I gained strength, confidence, energy and most importantly I regained a massive reason to smile.

If anyone within the steemit community is struggling with there weight, my piece of advice would be: keep going! Even if at first you fail, try again. I stuffed up often with my diet but honestly it is far better having one extra cheat meal or day a week due to caving in rather than giving up completely and having to begin the routine all over again sometime in the near future.

Until next time, stay safe and much love!