Late Night Steem: #1 The Funniest Horror Movie Ever "BEAR"
My favorite channel in the history of cable television is "Chiller" Anyone that has Chiller I envy you. I finally took the plunge and cut the cable from my house. Services like SLING TV do not have that channel. It is the only thing I miss about Cable TV. I use to just wake up and turn on Chiller.. Watch some Twilight Zone re-runs, maybe some Outer Limits, and random Scary movies. It's what the channel was for.
My mom is the same exact way and one day me and her were at her house and this movie came on and we decided to watch it together and give funny commentary during it... The movie was "BEAR"
So these couples are on a camping trip and during the camping trip one of the guys kills a bear.... Yea he is a dick for it but oh well right?? WRONG.. so another bear causes them to wreck and this bear seems just smart as fuck... Yogi and Boo Boo aint got shit on this bear.. So they wreck in this mini van and this bear is just slow torturing they ass.. picking them off one by one... 1 BEAR. They are trying stupid stuff to try and get this bear away from them..
SPOILER ALERT:
So this 1 BEAR kills one of the women.. leaving 3 in the van.. You get the sense that there is some weird ass love triangle among the final 3.. So one decides to make a run for it.... Succeeds........ KEEP IN MIND 1 Bear.. the other two are in the van.. thinking they are stuck.. The runner gets to a little rest stop area with a restaurant and suddenly.... WILD JESSIE OWENS BEAR Appears and SKULL DRAGS THIS GUY BACK TO THE VAN!! WTF!!?!?!?!?!
It didnt kill him and drag him back... no It kept his ass alive!
So the guy gets back in the van.. explains the bear brought him back. Everyone just seems so cool with that. I would have been like: "Wait the Bear... THE 1 BEAR.. followed you and brought you back......alive???"
So the bear continues to mess with these people and the female feels the bear is doing this for a reason.. A DEEPER REASON THAN because ITS A BEAR.. The Bear must some how know the TRUTH.. The Girl is pregnant but not by her boyfriend (the good guy) but the asshole who shot the bear (the dick) What kinda damn reasoning is that?!?!?!
So the climax is coming... Dick guy grows a pair and suddenly becomes the hero .. "aye bro take care of my kid" <<< Thats some cold shit right there..... basically he said "I'm about to save her, my kid, and your life because your too much of a lil punk" he gets a stick and goes one on one with the bear while the other two go the other way..
Remember in the Revenant when Leo got his ass whooped by that bear.. Ok.. replay that but more high pitched screaming and the death of the Dick... So the other two are getting away.. and something stops the guy... HE COULD HAVE EASILY GOTTEN AWAY JUST KEEP GOING... THE BEAR WAS STILL Nom nomming away on the other guy....... He tells the girl to LIVE and turns around and fights the bear..... BEAR WHOOPS HIS ASS TOO and kills him........ Bear walks up on the girl (oooo this is it.. all of em bout to die) girl turns around........ Bear stands up all defiant like................................. WALKS AWAY (mic drop)
IF YOU WANT TO EVER WATCH A HILARIOUS ROMANTIC COMEDY I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND WATCHING BEAR... Me and My Mom were in tears cracking up the WHOLE TIME..