Our journey to homeschooling our 4 kids

At the end of 2012 I made probably one of the biggest decisions of my parenting life and that was to pull our 4 kids out of mainstream schooling and start homeschooling them. Anyone who has homeschooled before knows the magnitude of this decision and the how daunting it can be! There wasn't only one reason that I felt this was the best decision for our kids. There were many and it was quite a hard decision to make. I'll list the reasons and then go through each one and explain our circumstances at the time and then explain why My aim is to never put my kids back into mainstream schooling.

1. Our youngest child at the time had developed sensory processing disorder

2. We were travelling over 3-4 hours a day to drop them off and pick them up from school.

3. Three of our kids were having various issues at school or as a result of being at school.

4. We were spending huge amounts of money on private Christian schooling and felt we weren't getting a lot in return.

5. My eyes were slowly opening to the futility of kids trying to fit into the box that our society sets for them.

In 2009 we bought the property of our dreams. We had always wanted to raise our kids on acreage and out of the city. Unfortunately to be able to afford to do this we had to give up our newly renovated house we had lived in for 9 years for a a very small one bedroom demountable.. At the time we bought we thought we would only have to live in this for up to two years until we would be able to build and I thought that was easy enough to do and that time would fly by fast. I told my husband The conditions I moved in was that I needed a bathroom (that had a toilet) to be built and a heater/aircon. Well... we got a bathroom after about a year but it took over 2 years to get an indoor shower and over 3 years to get a toilet!! This was our shower. We would often get visited by spiders and cane toads whilst in the shower and during winter you could imagine how cold it got!! This was our make so toilet. It would often overflow and leak and the smell was horendous! A lot of the time it was nicer to just go outside and use the bush.
Another thing that didn't go to plan and we didn't know about was that the demountable we moved into was full of mould. I was unaware of how that would affect us all and the health risks involved. Within 6 months of living in it our youngest child at the time started having quite severe meltdowns. She was such a placid child and this confused us as we didn't know what was going on. These slowly escalated over the next two years (2010-2012)
For awhile we thought she was misbehaving. School seemed to be a big trigger for her. She would start screaming about having to have her hair done and put her shoes and socks on as everything felt uncomfortable. We would get so cross and punish as we didn't know what to do and felt she was just being outright naughty. The screaming would start as soon as we woke up to get ready for school. I dreaded it. Knowing we were about to go through 2 hours of crying and meltdowns made me not even want to get out of bed most mornings. I was still unwell (which is a post for another blog) and my husband was very stressed with work (another story too). The kids would all start to fight with each other as the tension in the small space of a demountable with all the meltdowns was chaos. If I managed to get J'aime in the car the screaming and crying would Last the whole hour on the trip to school. Once there the older kids would go to class (normally late) and I had the job of trying to put j'aimes shoes and socks on. I'm sure people thought I was abusing her or something with the amount she was carrying on! Sometimes I got her in class (by this stage extremely late) and both of us in tears. Other times I'd end up taking her home. Overwhelmed with emotion and stress. She missed a lot of days of school over the 3 years she was there.
If I'd gotten j'aime to class she was a perfect child all day. She was a people pleaser and had two lovely friends. She really was an adorable little girl and everyone loved her. Bed time was a nightmare. Little did we know that she was in sensory overload after being in school all day. We used to put them all to bed (in one room of course). But most nights it would take us till past midnight to get J'aime to stay in bed and be able to go to sleep. I look back at this time with a lot of stress as we didn't know how to parent this. She would get yelled out and punished and once again we would all be in tears (the older kids too). I have a lot of guilt for how I reacted. In grade 2 J'aime's teacher finally put a name to the behaviour that had us baffled and pulling our hair out. SPD (sensory processing disorder). I started researching it and realised that this was not going to end quickly and that trying to keep getting J'aime to school was not worth the stress and heartache for the family or for her. I knew we couldn't continue on with the amount of stress and chaos. I started thinking of home schooling them (which had always been in the back of my mind for years but I wasn't well enough to do it). I believe mould was the cause and I will save the rest for another blog on that.
Before we moved we lived less than 5 minutes from the kids beautiful Little primary Christian school. When we moved it coincided with our oldest starting middle school (grade 7) so she had to go to another campus. We decided to move all the kids over at the same time to save travel time. Everyday I was driving over 3 hours. The traffic was terrible! Without traffic it would have only been a 40 minute drive each way but it was taking over an hour. I did it for 3 years! I look back now and wonder how and why haha. What a waste of time my time and the kids too. This on top of all their sport training and music and drama just made out time at home during the week non existent. Why did we move out to acreage to never be on it? The kids were always in a classroom or the car!! Then there was he complete waste of time doing stupid homework. I've never been a fan of it and to be honest I think it stops kids
From being able to relax and just be kids.
In 2012 there were a few things going on. Our two oldest were in middle school. Our son was such a wise and quiet boy but with a mischievous side. He loved his sport and had a couple of good friends at school. In yr 6/7 he started to hang out with the "rowdy" group of boys. I wouldn't say they were naughty. I don't believe the classroom is designed for boys and their activity levels and need for hands on learning. These boys were noisy in the classroom and rowdy at break time. A lot of Keegan's being in trouble was by association though he wasn't always entirely innocent . He still boasts about how many demerits he got that year. His marks dropped and once again I was thinking why am I doing all this?
Our oldest daughter Rayna was really struggling with her image and self worth. She had a great bunch of friends at school but she was very self conscious about what others thought of her. She would be in tears most nights for hours. Sometimes crying and not even knowing why! My heart broke for her as I didn't want her to ever feel she had to be someone she wasn't or try and change herself to fit in. I wanted my kids to be secure in who they were. Know themselves and follow their hearts. This is very hard in a school
Environment. We all remember our school days and the pressure most of us felt to be be liked. It was like a lions den and I felt I started to question it all.
We were spending a lot of money on private schooling that I felt we could use to build our house. Not just that but every year we would get their textbooks and they hadn't even completed them! Sometimes only half was done! What am I spending my money on and why?
Our main aim in life is to raise Our kids to follow God and follow their hearts. I felt my kids were stifled at school. The classroom took up most of their days then there was a little bit of time to pursue their passion and talents. Our days were full of stress, driving and more stress.
Rayna is full of music. When you hear her sing it it is deep and sometimes haunting. She loves to write music and plays guitar, piano and ukulele. She often busks and sings at restaurants. Keegan is a keen basketballer. He was training 4 days and week and had two games a Week.
Cayleigh is our little actress. She does musical theatre, dancing and singing and used to do sports too. She is also very musical and plays guitar, piano and ukulele and sings. J'aime was very invlolved in artistic roller skating and was training 4 days a week but has recently changed to artistic gymnastics. She is a lover of animals. She will say quite often she likes animals more than humans and in someways that is very true. She is our animal Whisperer and spends hours each day feeding and grooming them. She is so gentle hearted and compassionate.
I was certain I wanted to homeschool the kids and in my head I told myself that if it didn't work out they could just go back to school. I kept all their uniforms and bags etc just in case. My husband, tony, wasn't completely on board and basically said if I did this I was pretty much on my own as he has no time or head space to help out. He was also worried I was still not well enough. I decided to go ahead. Really what did I have to lose and I felt I had so much more to gain.
We went through a distance education school that allowed them to do their sports and qualify for districts and regionals etc. It was great to still allow them to have those opportunities. Keegan got through to districts then onto regionals in athletics, cross country and swimming. Homeschooling seemed to give him the best of both worlds. Cayleigh and J'aime do well at every sports day but now we are homeschooling through a distance ed school that doesn't do districts and regionals. .
Homeschooling has allowed us to travel and educate the kids through real life experiences musical theatre trips
trips to Sydney
we did a 5 week road trip across America end of 2015/1016 Many excursions Time to enjoy life and get plenty fresh air! A lot
More time to enjoy our property and a more laid back life They have formed amazing friendships Rayna graduated in 2017 and she had an amazing homeschool formal
I can 100% say that my kids are closer to each other after homeschooling and I believe relationships With each other is extremely important.
Has homeschooling been easy? No! It's a major commitment and sacrifice. Has there been some negatives? Yes! I'd be lying if I said it's been smooth sailing the whole time and that I've had no doubts that I've made all the right choices or done it perfectly. In the 5 years we've homeschooled there has still been a lot of hardships we've walked through and the kids at times have continued to walk through difficulties. But do I regret my decision? Heck no! Life is full of choices, mistakes, adventure and trials. We don't get to go through life with no regrets and mess.
My kids are free to pursue their dreams and not be burdened or held back. We can tailor their education to their learning style and pace. Rayna did grade 11 & 12 over 3 years so she could put more time into music which is onither benefit of homeschooling.
Life is about risks. Homeschooling was a risk. But I feel so far that this risk has paid off! I wake up now with a curiosity and purpose. There's no dread or stress. No rush to get breakfast and lunches made and to school on time. We got up and enjoy each other's company and then get into our learning.
I love being around my kids (most of the time ) I occassionally miss "me" time. But I just feel so blessed that I can have such a big influence and be involved in my kids lives and I remind Myself just how lucky I truly am. I love that I always know who they are hanging around and what they are exposed to and I feel that's a big thing in today's society.
So here's to another year of homeschooling. Keegan is in his final year and doing 3 OP subjects and a Cert IV in business. Cayleigh is in grade 10. J'aime is in grade 7. Rayna is doing a second year of Theology and worship internship and doing her second diploma and little Malakai is just doing his thing and being the cutest toddler ever.