My bestfriend and I, after a year of dating, have decided to end things. Reluctantly, it had to happen because my partner has commitment issues that cause anxiety. As much as I enjoy my time with her and the joy she brings me, neither of us were willing to sacrifice her mental health for our relationship.
Fortunately, we've been able to support each other as best we can throughout this process. I call it a process because it's extremely difficult for two people whom deeply love each other to just break things off.
The love we share continues to live on despite ending things, because we understand why this needed to happen. We both believe we've broken up in the best of ways.
For now we're not communicating, at least until my friend has cleared her mind. I want to talk to her every day, not as a partner, but as my friend. I can't for now.
People who influence your life, support you unwaveringly & genuinely care for you, should not be removed from your life. Instead it's best to communicate with that person and find a way to stay connected. After all, good friends are hard to come by.
How to have a Healthy Relationship
For those of you who're in a relationship, whether it's healthy or unhealthy, there are simple things we can do to ensure happiness regardless.
Communication is key. Don't be afraid of those difficult conversations with your partner. If you can't tell what they're thinking, just ask politely. It's always nice knowing someone cares when they ask "how are you?"
It's sometimes hard for us to understand how our partners feel when things get tough. It's usually a delecate issue. You need to sympathize with how your partner feels, even if you don't entirely understand why they feel this way. Try to put yourself in their shoes because they'll appreciate the support.
Support your partner the best you can. If you're not willing to, then you shouldn't be with that person. Put their needs above your own when you can while you help your partner overcome their problem.
This is a tricky one. If you don't already have honesty in your relationship and you find yourself doubting your trust, then you should try to end things immediately. If you can't then you need to find a way to repair that trust. Being honest with each other makes it easier to communicate with, understand, & support your partner.
Honesty is the key to a long lasting relationship.
If you use these steps above I can guarantee a happy relationship between you and your partner. Things may still get rough along the way but if you talk to each other, work together, & keep nothing secret, there's nothing to fear.
What Not to Do when Breaking Up
The worse thing you can do during a break up is make everything about yourself. If your partner doesn't already resent you, you can be sure they will after such a break up. Let them express themselves just as you'd like to. Remember to share the experience as you have shared your lives. This may be the last chance you get to do so.
It's best not to think about who your partner will be with next. That kind of thinking only leads to depression. Instead let them be free. They were kind enough to be faithful to you during your time together and so you should be kind enough to let them go.
Trying to communicate with your ex during a break up is a temptation we all experience. It's difficult I know. It's important that you give your partner the space they need, especially if you want to continue being friends later in life. Let them move on, as you should too.
4. Self Destruction
Unless your relationship ended horribly, nobody wants to hear that their partner is destroying themselves. I don't see a reason why you should hate someone you once loved. Though you may not be together, that person still cares about you. Don't make things harder than they have to be.
It's difficult not to be bitter when going through a break up, even if it's inevitable. Your emotions go haywire if you're truly in love with that person. It's okay to feel this way.
Remember though, no matter how awesome someone may be, your own happiness is just as important as theirs so don't be afraid to make those tough decisions when in a relationship.
Thomas Te Aroha Kohi
Blogger | Music Producer💸
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter"