My Annoying Co-Worker

I'm not a people person.

And therefore I've had a bunch of co-workers that have annoyed me in the past. And I can take the bulk of the blame, too. After all, it's probably my personality deficits that have contributed to me being annoyed by stuff so much.

However.

I'm almost ready to just quit my job because of our secretary.

Now, I work as an insurance broker, so for the most part I just work in my office. Either alone or with a customer, but rarely with my actual co-workers. This is a good thing.

I do need to practice some next level ninja skills whenever I'm attempting to refill my coffee cup, though, since we all share the coffee room.

I've even gone so far as accepting bookings that I see that I can work around in a way that allows me to grab a coffee in-between the bookings during a time when this particular co-worker is busy with her own work.

I'm not kidding, or exaggerating.

She's do damn dull that it's almost exciting that someone can really be so goddamn dull. The only somewhat interesting part about her is playing a game with myself where I take a guess every morning regarding whether or not she will say something that's even dumber than the dumbest thing she said the previous day.

I guess "Yes!" every morning, and I win every time.

She has this style of speaking where she just yells everything, she's an attention whore, and she wants to make sure that when she speaks, everybody pays attention to what she has to say. Most of the time, the topics are the most mundane, pointless, forgettable, stupid annoying ass subjects imaginable, and you just can't fucking avoid them!

If she's in the break room, and you go there to get coffee, you will be exposed to the most frustratingly infuriating, exasperating, irritating, annoying, upsetting

Deep breath

vexing, irksome, unsettling, disturbing, troublesome, bothersome, vexatious, galling.. IDIOTIC shit that that can possible exist as talking subjects within the extremely broad guidelines of this entire planet.

Basically, if it's stupid she's said it. Or if not, she's thought about it, and will tell us all about it tomorrow.

This post is not going anywhere, nor does it have a point, other than being a therapy session for me, as I try to endure the last hour at my office. Right now, I'm safe, but I did have to listen to the stupid stuff her son has been up to at some school in some country. He's becoming a carpenter. And I'm sure the sole reason for that is that it's the furthest thing from an insurance broker, because he wants to make sure he'll end up working as far away from his mother as possible.

This is just my theory, but I feel I have strong evidence backing it up.

The worst thing is when she jokes.

Jesus fucking Christ, the jokes.

No one ever laughs. Except for her.

And then when no one laughs, she always feels obligated to explain the joke. Even though we all got what the joke was supposed to be, in theory, but either the execution or the punchline were just so lacking that the end result was worse than the orgasm you get once you've already masturbated twelve times. Just a huge let down. Or not really let down anymore, since we all know what to expect, but still. An unmemorable experience.

Have you experienced anything similar? Ever had an annoying co-worker that almost drove you to quit? Or even drove you to quit? Let me know. Let's start a support group.

Thanks.