My Breastfeeding Journey

I decided to write about my breastfeeding journey with my little lady because so many women struggle to either get started or keep going for many reasons and hoped I might give someone a bit of encouragement if it's what they wish to do.

The Beginning
We had a really rough start. The workshops and dvds provided by the UK NHS (hospital service) didn't really broach any of the problems we encountered, so I was totally clueless. My daughter was exhausted at birth as was mummy and didn't pop out the boob monster she eventually became. In fact my little lady, famous for not sleeping well actually slept through her second night. I knew this wasn't right as despite little experience I knew newborns weren't meant to sleep that much. All the midwives focused on her latching on to the breast and this stressed me out as each of them had a different idea about how it was too be done. No one listened to my pleas that she just wasn't interested or the fact it was odd she slept through the night and so much in general since being born. I ended up feeling really inadequate as I just couldn't get her to latch on for a feed.

Guilt
On day four of my hospital stay I was due to be discharged and they finally weighed my girl. She had lost 13.5% of her body weight. To compound my feelings of guilt the brash midwife pointed the finger at me saying there was no way I could take her home till her weight was up and without consulting me ordered a formula top up. There was no compassion or reassurance. In fact I found out later this was not as horrendous as it sounded, that babies often lose up to 10% of their body weight within a few days. My baby slurped down the formula. It was amazing to see her finally eat. But I felt so guilty, she was practically starving. If i had been better informed about how breastfeeding is not easy to establish and if I had been listened to by midwives we could have looked at ways to get her eating properly before it came to this.

Help
Our breastfeeding relationship most likely would have ended then if it were not the amazing advice from another mummy who suggested I request an electric pump. Previously I had been fruitlessly hand expressing and 5 mls an hour wasn't going to cut it for my hungry baby. This amazing industrial machine got my milk started in no time. It was such an efficient machine I felt like a poor farm cow. Over a few days I was able to replace formula top ups with my expressed milk and my daughter gained strength and soon we reached the next hurdle no one warned us about - cluster feeds and growth spurts. The rest is history. We never looked back and are still going strong. Not everyone understands breastfeeding a toddler or older child. It's certainly something I never planned. But it is completely normal and a beautiful thing. She is happy, confident, independent and surpassing all her milestones and we have the most amazing bond. Of course this isn't all down to breastfeeding.

Happy
I think the more we talk about breastfeeding the more normal it will become and we should talk about the difficulties so women can be more empowered when deciding whether or not to breastfeed and know how and when to access help. My wee girl still falls asleep after a feed. You can't beat your little one snoring in your arms so I am trying to enjoy each and every few as I know soon the next time could be the last time.