You’re Not Perfect, And That’s OK

in #life7 years ago

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We human beings are interesting creatures and I simply love observing my own kind. You should do it too, it’s quite fun! The way we interact with each other and function inside the boundaries of so called societal norms is quite fascinating!

We are all aware of and follow the laws of our countries that dictate what we can and cannot do but not many people are aware of, at least consciously, about the whole set of unsaid societal expectations that we are constantly trying to fulfil sub-consciously.

I mean that’s why we have different behaviours when we are alone, when we are with our best buds, when we are with ‘normal’ friends and when we are dealing with complete strangers. Our behaviour also depends according to the place and occasion. I mean, you are “expected” to behave a certain way in all these different settings.

The expectations don’t end with our behaviours though, and include all aspects of life and work, even the way we look. Unfortunately, we have set some really high standards for our own selves which are impossible to reach, which promotes a lot of fakeness in the world that we are all witnessing on a daily basis, all just to reach the “perfect” human image that society has created.

Today, I am going to tell you that such a human doesn’t exist. That’s because all of us are flawed in our own beautiful ways and trying to be perfect just to satisfy this invisible society’s expectations, is meaningless.

You Don’t Have To Be Right All The Time

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You might have noticed all the arguments that people have on the internet, in somebody’s comments section, trying to prove themselves right by any means possible. Really! People argue about the smallest of things.

This happens in real life too and it’s always someone trying to prove that they are right. I think that is because, we assume that being proven wrong shows that we are somehow stupid and so, we try to defend our opinions.

I guess that’s just what society has made us believe even though we are all aware that nobody can be right every single time. If we all just accepted the fact that we can make mistakes too, and just say so, there would be a lot less heat in the world.

So, the next time someone tells you, you are wrong and gives a proper, logical explanation why, just admit that you made a mistake and thank him or her for enlightening you about it. You’re not perfect and that’s OK!

Beauty Is What’s On The Inside

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This one is really messed up. Everyone says that we shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover and that looks don’t matter, while the reality is very, very different. We as a society, have placed some really unreachable expectations about the way we look.

This is what has led to the creation of multi-billion dollar industries that allow us to mask our true identities, our true selves and show to the world a fake image of our non-existent, perfect self.

Shouldn’t things like personality, behaviour, mentality and attitude matter more? Why do we place such a high value on our looks while we would be better off developing these other traits about ourself?

So, the next time you have a slightly dull face in the morning or have signs of bags under your eyes, when your hair is not perfect and your body is not perfectly toned, tell your self that you are not perfect and that’s OK!

You Don’t Need To Have A Lot of Friends

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Another area where I see people being judged a lot and them feeling insecure is about their social life or their social circles. In our society, people who like to spend time alone or live a quiet life are seen strangely.

They are automatically judged as people who are not liked by anyone or people who are misfits and that something is wrong with them, while the reality is nothing like that at all! Having a large number of friends proves nothing and definitely says nothing about you.

These days people have hundreds of friends on social media, but they are just names on a screen. When you actually need someone in life, I bet only a few will show up, if even that! So, why boast that number when in reality it doesn’t even mean anything? Just to show to society that you have a healthy social life and that you are liked?

Remember, even one true friend in your life is enough and if you have 2 or 3 like them, it is perfect. Smaller circles have stronger bonds, so don’t go chasing numbers to prove anything to anybody.

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I have hundreds of mottos of simple sentences I have come to define over the years to condense some of my life experiences. The one I remind myself of the most is probably "pursue progress, not perfection".

Even if you could reach perfection, getting there would still only ever come from incremental improvements that you do in the present. And if your present self is stuck wanting perfection, it ends up getting neither. So just focus on what little thing you can do now that makes you a little better every day, that takes you a little closer to your goal, and you'll eventually get as close to perfection as you could ever get :)

Oh I found another of my quotes on my drive while searching "perfection" in my personal philosophy folder:

"The moment you think you have reached perfection, you have already proved yourself wrong. Becuase an essential quality of man is the constant pursuit of improvement through challenging the known and exploring the unknown, and how can one be perfect if one lacks such an important quality?"

From 2008 LOL.

Those were some really wise words :) I am truly inspired.

I believe that perfection is something that just can't be achieved. It is supposed to be that way so that we keep moving forward to that point incrementally which keep improving us little by little.

I like your views and I hope more people think like this.
Actually.. I think it comes with age..

My opinion is that younger people have harded to accept that they are not always right.
They values outside beauty more than inside's. They often say it' s not true, but it is.

They think it's better to have many friends instead of best friend(s).

I have thought a lot about my views now and 10 years ago. I am not saying that I am old, but still my views have changed.

It's ok, I am not perfect anymore ( as I thought I was in my twenties 😁)
I think all people around me values me because of my attitude, behaviour, mentality. Of course I am pleased to hear good compliments.

It's not easy or even neccessary to find new good friends- I already have.
I adore my best friend ( she has been my best friend about 20years and will be forever) and I love one man. What else should I need?

Age sure brings more maturity and clarity which makes a person wiser. You are right, having some close friends that we've known for ages and a love of life is more than anybody could need. :)

this is so very true great post the older you get the more you realize that its not always about being right sometimes you just have to ignore situations that dont bring you peace...ive learned to appreciate the good in people instead of pointing out the bad i want to be different a good different...the world needs more love and less hate

Yes, totally agreed. The world needs a lot more love and a lot less hate. :)

Awesome post man .. you are a great writer. I like you post very much and i highly appreciate your hard work .... Keep sharing .. @sauravrungta

Social pressure and media influence makes the things hard, they're dictating our lives how to be :/

Two of the things that are wrong in the world today.

I like how you bring up all these social norms, so true. To you're point "beauty is on the inside"... I think being on an online community has helped reduce that idea. People on Steemit are valued for their intelligent articles, comments and ideas. I really love it. :) Some of my friends on this platform, I have no idea what they look like, but I still have so much affection towards them. In a way, it allows people to be their true self, act how they really want without any judgement on who or what they look like.

Communities like the one on Steemit are changing that idea for sure and establishing new norms that should have been there in the first place. Appreciating people for their talents, ideas, world views and not on their looks. Thanks for reading and the kind words :)

It is true for me, I can count my friend on one hand. And because of that our bond is far stronger than if I have to share my energy more people.

haha me too!! Smaller circles always have the strongest bonds :)

I agree @sauravrungta

We all seek perfection and we end with expecting a perfect life but in reality we all do mistakes and have many flaws.

In terms of work we also tend to do it perfectly but in most of the cases we procrastinate a lot. For example when we think I am going to write a perfect 1000 word blog post on Steemit, we feel overwhelmed with it and procrastinate a lot.

Thanks for inspiration.

Perfection is something that can never be reached, but in my opinion, we should still seek for it because that means there is something motivating us to move forward everyday.

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