Please Don't Give Up: Your Life Matters!

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Earlier this year while writing the "Syrians Speak Out" series for Mint Press News I was contacted by a gentleman who shared his story with me. We conducted the interview by voice via Skype during two sessions, while the sounds of war could be heard in the background. It was informal and rather than asking him questions in an interview format, I asked him to share his experience of living in Syria during the war. What stood out to me during this emotional confessional of sorts was his unwavering and relentless strength and hope. His story can be read here. 

Last night, as I was preparing to go to bed he contacted me via messenger. After exchanging hello's and asking how the other was, he wrote one of the most shocking statements I have ever been on the receiving end of.. "about to commit suicide, I thought you can record it". He said he wanted to give me an exclusive story and asked if I could record it on Skype. I was SHOCKED, speechless, and felt sick to my stomach, just reading his words. As soon as I could get my fingers to stop shaking and for my brain and body to function, I wrote no. We spent the next hour chatting, during which time I wasn't even sure if he was being serious or not but I was treating the situation with as much sensitivity and composure as I could muster. I pleaded with him to not take his life, he asked why his life mattered to me? That we had never met, and he is all the way in Syria. I explained that during our interview months ago when he shared intimate details of being captured and tortured by terrorists for 33 days his story touched me, as a human hearing the tragic heartbreaking experience of another human made my heart ache. 

Thinking back now, I remember holding back as much as possible any emotions, sadness, etc. that his story had stirred in me in order to maintain a professional stance but my heart ached for him and what he had been through. 

I told him that since then we have had many conversations and we are friends. I desperately hoped that connecting with him on a very human level would give him the sense that he is not alone and that there is someone on the other side of the world that would be very hurt if he took his life.

He apologized for having "bothered" me and said that he will not end his life. I was shaking, nauseous, and in a state of disbelief during the entire conversation. Honestly, I didn't know what to say, or how to react, and tried to remind him of how he has already overcome so much, that there isn't anything that he can not conquer. I tried to choose my words very careful, I sympathized with him. I told him I wasn't going to say all the cliche things he has probably already heard. But that he needs to know that he matters, and that whatever it is that he is going through right now he can get through it.  He promised to not take his life and apologized again for having kept me up and said that we would talk soon. 

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The closest that I have come to dealing with situations such as this was while working for a global emergency center for three years. During that time I spoke with the family members of those who had committed suicide while away from home, whether they were on a study abroad program or vacation. This was one of  my job requirements in order to assist them with "repatriation of remains". I had to collect information from the next of kin in order to prepare documents to return the deceased back to their home country. I never dealt with the victim. 

One of the many emotional calls that I had to make that stands out in my mind was when I spoke with the father of a US college student that had moved to Canada. His parents went to visit him during his first school break and when they entered his dorm room they found him hanging lifeless, he had timed his suicide almost perfectly with their time of arrival. After the school called me and provided me with the father's contact information I called him to collect information and explain the process. Understandably, the father sounded numb, shocked, in a state of bewilderment but also very calm. After extending my condolences, I started to collect information, the father sounded emotionless, then he shared a few minor personal details such as this being the first time his son had been away from home, and that this came as a total shock. There was nothing that could have prepared them for what they had just witnessed. My heart ached for the parents...much like my heart ached last night. 

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Why am I writing this? 

Clearly this is unlike any other post that I have made on Steemit. I won't be writing about this on my website nor will I mention it on my social media accounts. It's not a political or necessarily informative article per se, but while writing it I realized the importance of raising awareness on the issue of suicide and the stigma that surrounds it.

It's crucial that everyone realizes that they do in fact serve a purpose, that their life is precious and that there are people who care about them. We never know when we will be put in a position where we might be able to help someone choose life over death. If we are in that position we need to do our best to help a fellow human whether they be a friend, family member, or stranger. I am not qualified to give advice on this or to really speak much about this...I am simply just stating how I feel and what my personal thoughts are on this subject. Nothing more or less. 

Anna Nalick's song Breath (2am) comes to mind while writing this post "2am and I am still awake writing a song, if I get it all down on paper, its no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to". Basically, this has been consuming my mind since last night...and maybe if I write about it my mind will stop going in circles trying to make sense of it. Also, another song which focuses on this topic is Logic-1-800-273-8255 ft. Alessia Cara & Khalid.

In our professional lives we are expected to conduct ourselves in a certain way, that's one of the reasons why I do not mention many personal details of my life on social media or in my writings. I try to keep my two lives separate but at times.. such as last night...our professional and personal life collide. I will take absolutely no credit in possibly helping this man choose life over death from the other side of the world. I am however glad that he is still alive and that he reached out to me and that I was able to remind him of how he has conquered some incredibly vicious demons and to please find the courage to continue living and to believe in himself. I made him promise that he wouldn't take his life.. whether he keeps that promise or not is not in my hands but given the state of shock that I was in.. I did what I could. 

Here is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the US 1-800-273-8255 if anyone needs it.. please never feel that you are alone, and please always choose life. 

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