Im searching

I’m not waiting around for anything! Today I’m alive!! I’m not an empty SHELL!! No!!I’ve done an excellent job today! I woke up bright and early to go to work I made it there 10 min till, everything went well!! I didn’t even break a plate, and most important I didn’t make one mistake!!not one. I got home, taken a shower, towel dried myself put on my favorite perfume and got dressed. I went to my favorite place in the whole world, to the sofa and........just sat there.......although the remote was in my hand......I just sat there listening to all of the nothing sounds around me slowly begins and to taunt me, it’s squeezing me. I was in much need of some fresh air, I needed a cigarette. I’m not a smoker, I actually only do it to feel......something. As I puffed I observed closely the view that was in front of me and all I could do was just.......stand there. All I can do is nothing. My voice is an echo that lingers along to all of the nothingness around me, it slowly begins to taunt me, it’s squeezing me. It reels me in, it loves me........it loves me.