Age And Relationship
Does maturity come with age? Is age really a collection of relative experiences? Does age actually matter? We've heard this phrase; "Age is only a number" quite a number of times (even in relationships), but do you believe this? Okay the truth is; and from my relative experiences; sometimes, age and maturity are too separate entities that are not directly proportional to each other.
Can I shock you? In relationships, age is among the least considered factors; especially in this part of the world. I ask you this: Would you rather be with someone of a "perfect" age range that has a bad attitude or someone outside the hook (age-wise) but with a fair and righteous attitude? Now, that's exactly what I'm driving at.
In a relationship, there are many things that matter - some may be quick to say "beauty"; yeah it is important; at least something would have to attract you to someone, but it doesn't stop there. Beauty might attract someone to you, but it may not make the person glued to you; but your character would. As I said sometime ago; your character either makes people stick around with you or desert you.
And more often than not, your character and your attitude are independent of your age. Beauty might get faded with the passage of time, but your attitude sticks around for a while. And the truth is, there's no gain in having a negative attitude - if you know what I mean. A classmate of mine while we were in high school used to feel herself (or I should say; overrate), especially when guys came to "chyke" her - maybe thinking she isn't within their level. But after many years, she came to terms with the reality of life and she's now very lonely, and I'm sure she would reply "yes I do" to even a "how are you?" now. She forgot that beauty isn't a constant, but a variable that gets mutilated with time.
Life is in phases, and in every phase, try to live a life that posterity would remember. Make yourself accessible, and remember that no one is a sole repository of all good things.
Thanks for reading
Very interesting topic!
Yes, you are quite right :):
From a systemic point of view age is seen as maturity and also should be seen that way to let the order (of family dynamics) stay in place. Same counts for the order of birth within a family. Eldest child comes first, youngest child comes latest. Grandparents before parents and so on and so forth. This natural, from all humans accepted order helps us to observe when things are out of order.
Like children wanting to interfere and intervene in their parents relationship even they themselves already are adults. It's correct to take influence as a father or a mother, because father- and motherhood stays once a child was born. Whether a child who has not yet became a parent usually cannot enter the experience of parenting. A father and a mother is an autoritative figure to their child. All children actually deeply long for a figure of wisdom and integrity.
That there are parents who - in their past - did not fulfill their roles of persons of integrity towards their young children, is true. Therefore, even adult children still seek for receiving the right amount of parenthood towards them. Which they should stop doing because, after all, they aren't children any more. To both - parent and the adult child - the insight must come that the natural order is for a parent to give direction and to set borders and for the child to follow and trust them.
An adult child actually harms him- or herself by demanding giving orders to her mother or father as well as harms the parent. A person seeking still to be parented in their late Twenties or Thirties or older should fulfill this longing during therapy and or through studying topics which provide insight and support.
Parents, who haven't learned yet to give borders to their adult children should do the same.
In doing that those people also give relief to the outer systems they move within. It relieves their friends, colleagues and other family members. It relieves actually a whole community and society if people would work on behaving properly to their ages.
Actually, it's not a question of preference but one of event taking place without my influence on that (Likewise in family: I got the family I got). I encounter people in public life as well as in my profession where I do not have a choice to pick people. So I am saying: If I am encountering a person who is immature I would like to encourage him or her to find out about her or his potential in learning that. Otherwise, if there is no interest or occasion in finding that out, I am doing my own business and just do what's needed to get along.
Wow! This comment is almost longer than my entire post :D.
I really salute your point of view. You've really got an evolved mind, Erika.
Thanks for dropping by.
Hey there, @Samminator! :D In psychological terms age (biological age) and maturity (psychological age) are two different things :) I believe it is the same in love and relationships. Your thoughts reminded me of Little Prince and numbers :) I will paraphrase Exupery (I can't find the right citation): Adults always ask about numbers. When you say you met a new friend they ask how high he is, what grades he has, how much money his father earns. They never ask about his smile, how does his lough sounds like or what color his hair is...
Cheers! :)
This exactly is it.. We ask about age, but not about other things. There are more to a relationship than age.
Thanks for your insightful comments as usual
Age changes everything. It is true of anything found in nature and hence why not us. People react differently. Some accept it, others resent it. It does not matter however because life moves on.
Attitudes are a manifestation of ourselves over a period of time. the physical will intrude into the mental and vice versa.
We need people with positive and negative attitudes. they balance each other like yin and yang.
Yeah "yin and yang".. I've heard about that from my Chinese friend :D Maybe that also applies here
Very interesting theme. I believe wisdom comes with age even if it does not. Accumulation of experience makes us smarter ... at least in relationships with others (for example being your ex-colleague)
Wisdom may not necessarily come from age only. Experience also matters a lot. That is why you could see a young person with a mental age of an adult :D
Thanks for the nice comment
I also thank you for this explanation. I totally agree with you!