my part of our diary #11 fears

you really touched the bottom of my heart with your worlds , i ve tears on my eyes right now probabely because i lofeely you :) , and i m glad that u could ve see the stars in my soul , you re giving me so mush inspiration to write about you and i will soon ;)
let's talk about fears , you said you fear that u could ve missed a lot of things in life by being distructed , i m here ,and i will be here to remined you of everything you ve missed , it s not a problem being distructed but the problem is never being aware of it , and as i see you are already aware of it , that s s step to change this , why ? okey .because our unconsciousness work this way , it s so fast and illimited that we have no idea of how huge and vaste it s , to change something negative on us , we must start by being consciousness about it , and your unconsciousness start searching for solutions automaticely , then in everytime you get distracted your consciousness will reminds you that you shouldnt done this , you should change it ..by practicing and noticing your behivors it s gonna change and i m pretty sure that it will , trust me , just give it some time .and btw the univers is so intelligent ,the energy of the univers work veryperfeclty , do not doubt that for a seconde ,the msg we get from it ,comes only in the right moment , and you never missed anything , you ve learned what u should ve learn , otherwise is never a msg , in each moment , we miss a lot of things because of our belives ( i already told you about how our belives change our reality ) and that's okey because everyone of us miss a lot of things ;)
i remember also the face of yours when u got distracted , you looked cute like a little baby , i also kept this picture of you :) never be afraid for being a kid , from expressing your feelings because u ll never regret it especially with me
you know ? while i m writing , i see you smiling and keep seeing it everytime i remember you , how could u ? how dare you ?
now there s this cat playing around me , she s a little bit jealous because i m not giving her any attention ( sorry little girl talha comes first :p )
about the fear (of not fearing ) it s a little bit messy i can see , but all i can say about it , just relax ,those things didnt happen yet , those are illutions and it s okey to fear the things we dont know about our futur , but let's expect the postive so we can get it (remember the law of attraction ;)) ,and if they ever happened , what s the worse things that could happen to you ? will u die ? what s new ? everyone here is going to die .but no you won't haha ( still need u ) ,you ll strugelle and learn then walk and run on your feet, with your own or with other , it doesn't matter what's really matter is the msg you get from this pain .a pregnant woman can never have the baby without pain , pain is a transition ,it helps us to grow .and you know what else ? i m here ,your problemes is mine , feel free to share anything with me , i ll be here and do what ever it takes to face them with u , we are bigger then that , we built our world with high solid walls, aren't we ? :)
i had some fears that i ve already faced (elhmdolilah ) , but still some ..the last one is giving too mush fuck about people ( i already told you that) , and it was one of the reasons why i quit social media , i used to care about what people say to me ,and how they see me like for exemple once i started traveling i didnt care about anything , i used to publish my pictures and show people where i was and how i felt , then people start asking ,they start likeing what i am doing especially for a girl in this muscluin country(for that u need too much courage , i ll talk to you about this one day ) , they felt the freedom i m living , everything was good but for a moment i felt that i started getting my value based on what they are saying even if it was so positive but that wasn't my purpose , my value is never defined by a humain like me, i was afraid that i m gonna resume my self on what others saying even if i already know my worth , even if i already know my value, and even if i traveled for my self , so i quit it for so much time , and now everything changed i feel so mush progress ,i ve this conscious that controle my behviors , i was also confusing kindess , like i used to say yes for the things that doesn't serve me , for the things i didnt want, just to please others , and now i work based on "win win situation "and "giving situation "( doing the things i wanna do ) and somehow people started respecting me more , they started caring , i taught them how to see me , how to treat me :D .i ve also a fear of what s gonna happen , i m so afraid of losing my self ,and all my dreams but i m hopeing for the best you know , i ve faith in god :)
god bless you with happiness and all the love :)
ps : yesterday i start the email ,i was very sleepy that i made a lot of mistakes and i wasn't welling to send it tel i finish it but i did by mistake