diary #4 part4 :the begining of our sunshine

everytime i check my email box and found your letter , i feel so happy and excited to read everyline , i alwayse prefer read it somewhere alone , with good muisc, in my ears so the only voice i can hear is yours (if u wonder whish kind of muisc it s chopin ).
at the end of this day , i decided that i m going to answer your email as i am full of positive energy , i had a good time with family ,talking and laughing ,it feels so good coming back home from time to time ,u take a moment to realise that those people who talking with you is your family , their blood is in your vines.no matter how the time could change us but having some part of them with u is uneviatble , my grandfather , i grow to like him more and more , he s an old man , alwayse sick but alwayse smiling , he s a simple humain being he reminds me of myself sometimes ,he make jokes from time to time ,he loves his family so mush, espcially my grandmother , their love is unique ,now they re like 2 friends probabley team work , they do everything togther and i love watching them talking and laughing even when they re yelling at each other :D , this morning i saw him laying in a way that makes his body looks smaller , he looked like a little baby ,and i stood in front of him seeing how his eyes are moving and his hands are trembuling and i told him about how mush i missed him , he smiled and pray for me " god save u " !we re blessed really , and we should be greatful for family ,at the end we re here because of them, we exist because of them .
this exitence , this life is a gift from god , i came to realise that humains are way more better then angels ,angles has choosen to be close to god , to serve god , to serve us, alwayse in the positive beautiful side , but we , we have accepted the responsablity of contradictions , we have accepted to carry angles and divils at the same time ,+ and - is in each particules of us ,and we have the choice between the ground and sky , between the good and the bad , between hate and love .
i told u last time that i m no longer afraid of death , it sounded weired but really i am not , i imagine at the end of my time , that my soul is going to fly ,up in the sky ,their where only beauty exists , i m hopeing now for paradaise , something more then life , i m hopeing for forever ,and i hope that u ll be there somewhere with me , i dont know if i m dreaming or this is gonna be the truth , but i do belive that dreams is all we have , aren't we ? people sometimes forget that this life is just a game , they take it for seriouse whish as u see result of war , madness and all of diseases .let's keep dreaming , let's creat our own world , let's do crazy things , let's imagine the unimaginable ,let's be kids again .
btw i searched about the web site steemit (informations , how to use it...), what a great way to share things with people !, and get payed for it , i decided that tommorrow i am going to subscrib , i ve a lot things to share and btw i check your compte and read some of them ,and i felt happy to see your 2 first emails as an articles , it s like i m getting famous in people's imagination even if they dont know me , i m glad really, thank u ..@talaxy
about the books i ve already have my list of book that i was supposed to print (pdf) ,cuz i couldn't find them here excpet in amazon mostly , and i dont have internationel card and as i like to hold books between my hands , to feel the paper , i love the smell of new books :D but the only thing prevented me from printing them is that i was thinking about trees , i dont wanna be so destrctuve , i love nature , then u show up with a good technic Audible , how could u ? how dare u ? haha i m really greatful for this :).anyway the books i wanted to start with is" the art of not giving a fuck "by Mark Manson i already started this one but i really want u to listen to it , then the second is " the art of loving " by Erich Fromm , this one is an old book , but its a reference , i ve heared so mush about it .
i m in my bed now , and i m telling my self that " i m gonna dream and remember it " hoping that tomrrow i m going to remember it , so i can tell u about it .i wish u good night with all the sweet dreams , let's meet tonghit in the desert .
PS : i took this pictures in casablanca 'city in morroco'