You are a great person and artistic, humble and kind in nature and the things you experienced and experience are normal for artists person cause your way of thinking is far greater than any others. You want to speak out but can’t sometimes,it’s not about confidence its just about habits,i am a confident guy but sometimes it’s even hard for me to speak out loud and it also depends whom i am speaking with. So i think with you it’s more like being shy and not a developed habit. Overall i think you have a great mind and personality.