Good Morning Steem!

I would like to discuss an issue that has been on my mind a lot lately, the concept of vocabulary. One of the biggest issues I feel that the modern word faces as of late is a bombardment of information. As a result, we tend to learn concept more quickly, but we don't always have the time to fully understand them or to put them into practice. The result of this ends up being a population that lacks the words, by definition, of their feelings, their desires, and their motivations. It is time to spiral down and focus on the self. It is time to make room for the good old microcosm.

The Microcosm is You

When one can't contribute these things to others around them, this can lead to confusion. Over the next couple of months, as we ease into the dark half of the year, I would like to explore some of the more common words that I find causing a problem for people.

Tolerating Tolerance

Tolerance, or a lack there of, is another result of a poor spiritual and emotional vocabulary. When you don't know the appropriate correspondences, it is unlikely that unless you rolled yourself a high luck stat when you were building your character for this thing called life, that you are comfortable sitting down.

Do you find that you are:

• Unable to communicate your wants and desires?
• Have a hard time relating to others?
• Always feel misunderstood?
• Don't understand why people avoid you or are needlessly confrontational with you?
• Feel like you are always buggering things up?
  I am going on weeks of poor sleep, months even. Insomnia hit a few months ago when I found out my mom was sick. I would stay up for hours looking up WebMD, cancer topics and anything that may help. Sometimes, nothing helps. That doesn't mean that you give up though. I didn't. I kept looking for solutions... if not to save her but to save her life.

I Promise, I Have a Point To All This

When I had to learn to do things on my own, as in when my ex-husband and I separated or when I had to sell my house, I stayed awake for days. Drug free, nothing crazy, I promise. Just a lot of good old fashioned stress and anxiety. When I did / do sleep, it is unrestful with images of the past coming up. Some nights I get scared, not matter how silly it is. Then it will go weeks and be okay.

I don't say this to complain. I am not looking for whoa is me, pity or anything else. I am simply sharing. The reason is because while I am aware of sleep as an issue, once upon a time, talking about this all was an issue as well. Worrying about manifesting madness simply because I was losing my shit was real. Feeling like I had somehow deserved all of this was also a serious threat to my sanity. I was so scared of breaking because I always thought that once you broke, you were broken. I thought of those moments of weaknesses as a flaw. Worse, I remember telling my best friend about these thoughts. I told her that it sucks that we always have to settle but settling never makes us happy.

She was almost offended. She said she would never settle. I laughed and went on with the day, snickering now and then about how sorely she was in for a disappointment. Oh, I was sure that everyone settled. It was simply a way of life. I arrogantly thought that because at the time, I had been married for nearly 10 years (since I was 19) that I had a thing or two figured out.

These Days, I Adhere to a Different Motto

Needless to say, the simple realization that I didn't have to settle made me think. It made me wonder what I was missing out on. I spent a lot of my time fighting against my life. I came to the conclusion that I was wrong about the whole settling thing when I went through my divorce. Wow, did I feel dumb. It was like I was living in a sheltered mind for years and didn't realize how the world worked. It also did wonders for shattering any illusions of the self... for better and for worse.

Thankfully, breakdowns... they're good for something.

They gave me a new way to look at the world. It was as though my priorities shifted and all of the information that I had been trying to understand for years all sort of just suddenly made sense.

What do you mean I have a choice? I don't have to be a victim?
So, I shouldn't use the word should? Oops - old habits die hard!
It's okay to be happy.
Why would I feel guilty for self-care? Why don't YOU?

All of these old addages, the things that told me what a wife, a mom, a career chaser, a student, a priestess, a friend, and the list goes on... the list, that is, of the things that I basically had been faking it till I made it for oh so long.

You never know when your own world is going to shift, the only thing that you can be certain about is that it will. When it does you don't want to be standing with a bunch of settled feelings in your gut.

Compromising is Not Settling

It took a while for me to realize the error of my ways. My mama did always say that I learned the hard way. However, the good thing is that eventually, I did figure it out. All of those things that my priestess, my mentor, and my teachers had been talking to me about sunk in and I finally got it.

It doesn't seem like a difficult concept, yet it took me a while to tell them apart.

Do You Know the Difference?

For you, what is the difference between settling and giving in? Perhaps "compromise" is the better word? How long ago do you think it was when you realized the difference or are you just about to find out what the actual difference is now? I am curious so please let me know in the comments when done!

I will be honest, I had to look it up. Of course, I know what both words mean, but they do seem to have a connected meaning.

Notice in the image that this saying, while pretty cool... is negative about the settling? That is because there is no one to work with. Instead of a compromise, which is the act of meeting someone in the middle to attain a goal, settling is allowing your own dreams to fall short without causation. Settling is another way of selling yourself short and why would you do that?

It is not to be confused with compromising, which requires a partner.

Plenty of people settle.

There is a reason that Pinterest is filled with emo memes about not settling, don't give up, don't stop until you meet your goals and this kind of thing. That being said, there has to be some give as well.

You Can Go Too Far

Most of us need to mainly worry that we are seeing the world clearly. This means that we need to focus on seeing the world in a positive light, seeing the truth of the situation. However, if you are shaking your head and saying this isn't you, then you'll want to read th next segment of this writing. That is because once you are aware of how you could potentially be limiting yourself through settling, many people swing the other way for a time.

Over compensation for settling is almost as inconvenient and counter productive to the awareness proces.

Make sure to check out the next section of Create Contentment by Changing Your Definitions